Rock
Mary Austin reveals Freddie Mercury’s hidden pain and the secret she’ll take to her grave
Mary Austin has opened up about the private battles Freddie Mercury never shared publicly — and the promise he made her keep forever.
Mary Austin has finally broken her silence on the most private parts of her life with Freddie Mercury, revealing the emotional weight she carried as the only person he trusted completely.
In a rare interview to promote her new book Freddie Mercury: A Life in Lyrics, Austin described the decades she spent protecting the late Queen frontman's secrets, guarding his belongings and shielding the truth about his ashes - a promise she says she will honour until her death.
Austin - who was engaged to Mercury for six years until they split in 1976, but remained close to him until his death in 1991 from AIDS‑related bronchial pneumonia - admitted she couldn’t face the handwritten lyrics the We Will Rock You hitmaker left behind, sealed in silver trunks for almost 40 years.
She told The Guardian: “To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement."
Austin shut the case immediately because “they were his personal belongings and I was being offered an opportunity to delve into them, and I couldn’t do that.”
She also revealed the depth of Mercury’s emotional turmoil behind the flamboyant persona.
She said: “He was full of bravado.
“It was a mix of real confidence and bravado. I think the mix was to cover and protect who he really was.”
Austin described how Mercury hid his heritage, avoided the sun so his skin wouldn’t darken, and was even arrested after telling police he was from Bombay.
She said: “With Freddie, you just saw what he wanted you to see."
She also lifted the lid on the moment Mercury told her he was not straight.
Austin recalled: “He said, ‘I think I’m bisexual.’ I said ‘No, Freddie, I think you’re gay.’”
She said the revelation brought “a huge relief”, ending years of uncertainty about their future.
Austin was at his bedside when he drifted in and out of consciousness in his final days. His harsh last words to her were: “My old faithful.”
She recalled: “I was holding his hand. He was on morphine and in and out of consciousness, and he falls back to sleep. And I stand there for quite a while and he finally comes round again and he just said, ‘My old faithful.’ So I felt a bit like a dog. I wasn’t flattered.”
She also confirmed Mercury left her Garden Lodge and half his estate because he believed she was the only person he could trust to carry out his wishes - including keeping the location of his ashes secret from even his parents.
Austin admitted the years after his death were brutal, describing photographers outside the house waiting for updates. She said one shouted: “No, he’s not dead yet."
Now 75, Austin says she is finally ready to leave Garden Lodge behind. But the promise Mercury asked her to keep - the one secret she will never reveal - remains untouched.
