Richard Clayderman's No Marvin Gaye; Music Fails To Turn On Tortoises

He might be one of the world’s most famous pianists, but Richard Clayderman can’t even manage to rouse a couple of tortoises to do the hot step with each other. Should he be ashamed by that? Probably not, our piano playing’s never ever been the catalyst for two reptiles to start making eyes at each other, and we’re not sure why anyone else’s would be either. For some reason though Clayderman’s record label bosses thought his would be, and also viewed it as a great gimmick with which to launch his new album Romantique. Clearly these people are nuts.

The Huffington Post commented that the giant Galapagos tortoises in London’s zoo were in no mood for Clayderman’s sensual ivory tones – in spite of his label’s claim that Romantique was the pianist’s attempts to get the two to mate. Galapagos tortoises can live for up to 150 years, and we reckon they were cursing that very attribute for longevity as they endured the pianist’s attempts to rouse them. The zoo keeper got far more joy out of them when stopping by to deliver carrots.

In fairness to Clayderman he seemed somewhat bemused by the whole thing himself. "After playing all around the world – I used to do concerts in Asia, in South America, in Europe – it's funny to be here, in this very nice zoo," he said. Check out his failed aphrodisiac 'Ballad Pour Adeline' below.