The 28 year-old actress speaks very openly about dealing with an eating disorder since she was a young child.
'Girls' star Zosia Mamet may be having a highly successful career in television as of late, but there was a time in her life when making it was an actress was the least of her worries. The 28 year-old recently made the brave decision to publically speak about her lifelong battle with an eating disorder.
Mamet has struggled with an eating disorder all her life
"Do you have a secret?" Mamet wrote in her column in Glamour. "Is your secret something that could kill you, a silent gnawing feeling that's slowly melting you away, little by little, something deadly that nobody else can see? Mine is. And it is this: I've struggled with an eating disorder since I was a child. This struggle has been mostly a private one, a war nobody knew was raging inside me. I tried to fight it alone for a long time. And I nearly died."
Mamet then candidly gave her opinion on how she developed the disorder, and what it did to her mental state.
"Here's how I think of my eating disorder: I'm an addict in recovery," she wrote. "I was told I was fat for the first time when I was 8. I'm not fat; I've never been fat. But ever since then, there has been a monster in my brain that tells me I am - that convinces me my clothes don't fit or that I've eaten too much."
"At times it has forced me to starve myself, to run extra miles, to abuse my body," Mamet continued. "As a teenager I used to stand in front of the refrigerator late at night staring into that white fluorescent light, debilitated by the war raging inside me: Whether to give in to the pitted hunger in my stomach or close the door and go back to bed. I would stand there for hours, opening and closing the door, taking out a piece of food then putting it back in; taking it out, putting it in my mouth, and then spitting it into the garbage."
The former 'Mad Men' actress also confessed to "waiting to die" at age 17, but fortunately her dad rescued her at the most crucial time.
Mamet was "waiting to die" at age 17
"My dad eventually got me into treatment," she added. "He came home one night from a party, took me by the shoulders, and said, 'You're not allowed to die.' It was the first time I realized this wasn't all about me. I didn't care if I died, but my family did. That's the thing about these kinds of disorders: They're consuming; they make you egocentric; they're all you can see."
In the reflective article, Mamet also speaks in great detail on eating disorders in modern day society, and how many people are dealing with the condition right now.