As I'm sure we are all aware, there just aren't enough lists and top tens on the ol' internet these days. "We need to talk about..." this, "Ten things you'll know if..." that. So, here I am, attempting to revolutionise the world of festival previews. Ready?
Here are the nine (yes, nine, not ten) artists you don't "have to see" at The Great Escape, because that's just rude and presumptuous, but should certainly scribble down on a bit of paper with your favourite HB pencil.
Mt. Wolf, St. George's Church, Thursday: 20:00-20:30
Undoubtedly one of the most exciting, emotive and atmospheric artists in the world right now; I'd be willing to put a few quid on Mt Wolf, in a church, being the highlight of your festival. Arriving in Brighton off the back of their brilliant EP 'Hex' and SXSW success, make sure you're at the church on time.
Pumarosa, Komedia, Thursday: 22:00-22:30
When Pumarosa released debut single 'Priestess' it wasn't just a statement of huge intent, it was also the best new music moment of 2016 so far. The seven-minute epic is an intriguing and frightening prospect when performed live and keep an eye out for at least one saxophone solo.
Blossoms, Concorde, Thursday: 22:15-23:00
You've heard of them; of course you have. But it's time to start believing the hype. The breakthrough band of 2016, Blossoms have got a huge summer ahead of them and are already one of the most exciting live bands in the UK. Recent single 'Getaway' is their best to date and they all wear wonderful jackets.
Anteros, Paganini Ballroom, Thursday: 23:15-23:45
Right, let's make a bet. After sampling the delights of Anteros I bet you one pint of cold beer that you'll be singing the chorus to recent single 'Breakfast' for the rest of the weekend. An irresistible, pulsating summer anthem that, on its own, makes this show worthy of underlining on your beer-soaked schedule.
Tusks, Latest Music Bar, Friday: 12:30-13:00
Music festival hangover cures; bacon, Lucozade and Tusks. Her ambient electro pop is about as delicate as your Friday hangover, but a whole load more enjoyable. Recently signed to One Little Indian and currently playing out in Canada, Tusks - and recent single False - is the only way to start your Friday at The Great Escape.
WHITE, Brighthelm, Friday: 15:30-16:00
It's difficult to remember a band whose first three singles have been as bold, confident and brilliant as WHITE. Future Pleasures, Blush and Living Fiction are all flirting with indie-pop perfection and their live show is about as lively and fun (don't forget, kids, music can be fun.) as you're likely to find at any festival this summer.
INHEAVEN, Green Door Store, Friday: 21:00-21:30
Rock and roll has never sounded so happy. You might not know it yet, but it turns out we've all been waiting for a huge, aggressive wall of fuzzy guitars teamed with the catchiest and most effortless choruses you'll ever hear. INHEAVEN are the result of this fascinating combination and will be the icing on your Friday evening Great Escape cake.
Beaty Heart, The Hope & Ruin, Friday: 23:30-00:00
I've spent a good few minutes now trying to summarise Beaty Heart without referring to the sunshine and using the word "irresistible", but it's impossible. Just have a listen to recent single 'Flora' and try telling me it wouldn't sound sumptuous on the (Brighton) beach. The UK's answer to Animal Collective and Vampire Weekend, Beaty Heart are a good bet for summer 2016 champions.
And your bonus ball...
Majik, North Lane Brewhouse, Friday: TBC
As part of this year's 'Alternative Escape' that runs alongside the main festival, Majik will be taking to the North Lane Brewhouse stage on Friday night. There's a real buzz surrounding this emerging duo that have already amassed quite the online following thanks to the breathtaking 'It's Alright' and recent single 'Closer'. Come and get your heart broken, and then fixed, by one of the most compelling artists around.