Ray Park

Ray Park

Ray Park Quick Links

News Video Film RSS

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Review


Bad

By ignoring everything that made 2009's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra a hugely entertaining guilty pleasure, the all-new writers and director of this sequel have made one of the most abrasively annoying action movies in recent memory. And even worse, they have indulged in exactly the same over-serious idiocy that the first film was gently lampooning. Instead, this is just a bombastic, incoherent, offensive mess.

Since the US President (Pryce) has been replaced by an evil doppelganger from the villainous Cobra organisation, he now sets about destroying his enemies, the elite G.I. Joe force. Led by Duke (Tatum), they're sent to collect some rogue nukes in Pakistan, and everything goes wrong. Now it's up to three off-the-grid Joes - meatlead leader Roadblock (Johnson), shy muscle-boy Flint (Cotrona) and tough-sexy Jaye (Palicki) - to stop Cobra's nefarious plan, whatever that might be. Their key opponents are Cobra goon Firefly (Stevenson) and ninja Storm Shadow (Lee), who's more complex than he looks. And the Joes have secret allies in Asian pals Jinx (Yung) and Snake Eyes (Park), as well as the original Joe himself (Willis).

The main problem here is that producer di Bonaventura forgot that it takes a lot of skill to make a stupid movie that's actually entertaining. Instead, this film is predictable and inane, with action scenes that stretch the limits even of stupid-movie plausibility (such as a ludicrous Spidey-style aerial battle in the Himalayas). And the fist-fights are impossible to see because they are confusingly directed, jarringly edited and then converted into unnecessary 3D. When everything explodes in every single chase scene, it becomes a bit boring really. And while there are gadgets everywhere, none of them are very cool.

Continue reading: G.I. Joe: Retaliation Review

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer


After the events of the first film, which saw them take on an organisation called COBRA and a notorious arms dealer, the G.I. Joe Team are back in a new adventure.

Continue: G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer

X-Men Review


Good
Well, comic book freaks can take a breather, as another sci-fi fantasy hits the big screen, this time in the long-awaited, highly-anticipated, it-better-be-good X-Men.

Without too much regret, I can say that X-Men will be palatable to fans and newbies alike. It's not a great film, but it will probably follow the arc of the Superman and Batman movies -- tons of sequels of variable quality until an abrupt and dismal end a decade later.

Continue reading: X-Men Review

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Review


OK
With all the spirit of its predecessors but none of the magic, "Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace" can ultimately be summed up with two expressions: "cool!" and "feh."

What's cool?

Continue reading: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Review

Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever Review


Unbearable

If it weren't for director Wych "Kaos" Kaosayananda's laughably excessive use of slow-motion, the convoluted, monotonous, mindlessly flashy, espionage-action bomb "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever" would be about 12 minutes long -- which might have made it almost watchable.

In a plot more scattershot than its endless, aimless rounds of ammunition, "Ballistic" kitchen-sinks together rival government intel agencies, microscopic assassination nano-bots, poorly faked deaths and new identities, a kidnapped kid that must be rescued in "less than 12 hours" for no explained reason, and rogue spies avenging their murdered families. It's nearly impossible to keep track of who's trying to kill whom and why, but that's of little importance to Bangkok film industry refugee Kaos. As long as somebody is getting shot or something is blowing up, he couldn't care less.

The uninspired bedlam that passes for action in this disaster isn't any more lucid than the story. Shrapnel-flying, cartwheel-turning shootout scenes are cheap, disorderly rip-offs from the "The Matrix." Wet asphalt used to give the movie a slick look makes for boring motorcycle "chases" that never exceed 40 mph (and even at that speed it's hard to say who's the chaser and who's the chasee). And Kaos seems to live by the mantra "why shoot at someone when you can set off explosions all around them -- and still miss?"

Continue reading: Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever Review

Ray Park

Ray Park Quick Links

News Video Film RSS

Occupation

Actor


Suggested

Are these the 10 greatest Halloween anthems of all time?

Are these the 10 greatest Halloween anthems of all time?

From Psycho Killer to the Monster Mash, these Halloween songs are classics.

Go easy on us! The five most tear-jerking Adele songs

Go easy on us! The five most tear-jerking Adele songs

Need a cry? Adele’s always got you covered.

Brown Sugar isn’t the only problematic song in Rolling Stones history

Brown Sugar isn’t the only problematic song in Rolling Stones history

Exposing some of the sickest songs of the iconic rock band's career.

Advertisement
Before Billie Eilish: Every James Bond theme ranked from worst to best

Before Billie Eilish: Every James Bond theme ranked from worst to best

Where does Billie place among the Bond theme greats?

Album Of The Week: The 41st Anniversary Of 'Remain In Light' By Talking Heads

Album Of The Week: The 41st Anniversary Of 'Remain In Light' By Talking Heads

On the 8th October 1980 Talking Heads released not only one of their most significant albums but also one of the most significant albums of the last...

Billie Eilish takes on Glastonbury in record-breaking moment

Billie Eilish takes on Glastonbury in record-breaking moment

She’s set to become the youngest to ever headline Glastonbury.

September 2021 Favourites: A stunning array of more than 60 artists feature in our pick of the Top 5 new releases from September

September 2021 Favourites: A stunning array of more than 60 artists feature in our pick of the Top 5 new releases from September

As the summer ended and Fall arrived, some great new releases dropped in September, including the first new music from ABBA in 40 years!

Advertisement

Ray Park Movies

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Movie Review

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Movie Review

By ignoring everything that made 2009's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra a hugely entertaining...

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer

After the events of the first film, which saw them take on an organisation called...

Advertisement
X-Men Movie Review

X-Men Movie Review

Well, comic book freaks can take a breather, as another sci-fi fantasy hits the big...

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Movie Review

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Movie Review

With all the spirit of its predecessors but none of the magic, "Star Wars: Episode...

Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever Movie Review

Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever Movie Review

If it weren't for director Wych "Kaos" Kaosayananda's laughably excessive use of slow-motion, the convoluted,...

Advertisement
Artists
Actors
    Filmmakers
      Artists
      Bands
        Musicians
          Artists
          Celebrities
             
              Artists
              Interviews