While many Hollywood stars seem to bounce back into shape within weeks of giving birth, actress Olivia Wilde has chosen to speak candidly about her post-baby body in a refreshing and (in some places hilarious) manner. Wilde penned the essay for April’s issue of Shape Magazine, less than a year after welcoming son Otis with fiancée Jason Sudeikis.

Olivia WildeOlivia Wilde has offered some post-baby 'real talk'

“I am not in perfect shape. In fact, I’m softer than I’ve ever been, including that unfortunate semester in high school when I simultaneously discovered Krispy Kreme and pot,” Wilde wrote. “The photos of me in this magazine have been generously constructed to show my best angles, and I assure you, good lighting has been warmly embraced. The truth is, I’m a mother, and I look like one.”

As refreshingly candid as the actress’ comments were, Wilde then took the ‘real talk’ up a notch as she went into more detail about her post-pregnancy body. "First of all, you haven't seen your vagina in months, even though it's all her fault you're in this situation," Wilde said. "Now that you can finally confirm that she is, in fact, still there, she isn't the gal you remember, and would rather you back off and give her some space (and an ice diaper) for the time being.”

More: Olivia Wilde Photographed Breastfeeding Son Otis For Glamour's September Issue

“That gorgeous bump you proudly paraded around town for some 40 weeks has only retreated slightly after the birth. Now it's a lot like a partially deflated pool toy,” the 31 year old continued. "But luckily, that part doesn't last long," she said "Basically, for the first few months, your body has that covered, and you can just let it do the work while you focus on keeping the kid alive and occasionally washing your hair.”

Of course Wilde knows all to well about the pressures Hollywood puts on new mothers to transform themselves as quickly as possible after giving birth, "I believe in a world where mothers are not expected to shed any physical evidence of their child-bearing experience,” she writes.

More: Olivia Wilde Claims Her Baby Bump Is A "Badge of Honor"

“In that same world I believe there is space for exercise to be as much a gift to your brain as it is your body. I don't want to waste my time striving for some subjective definition of perfection. I'd rather rebuild my strength while dancing my ass off...literally."

But Wilde did have one major weight loss secret to share (in her unique style of course), "Breast-feeding helps, in the most intense way," the actress writes. "You feel your uterus contracting while the baby nurses. Your belly starts to go down. Your thighs become slightly less thunderous. Finally, you are ready to change out of sweatpants.”

Olivia Wilde's issue of Shape Magazine is out now.