Jessica Alba went to therapy with her daughters so they could see she wasn't trying to "control" them and she could understand better parenting techniques.
Jessica Alba went to therapy with her daughters so they could see she wasn't trying to "control" them.
The 'Sin City' actress - who has Honor, 15, Haven, 12, and Hayes, six, with husband Cash Warren - initially sought help when she and her eldest daughter began "arguing all the time" and she has found the sessions to be hugely beneficial to both herself and her children because it makes her "work on" some elements of her parenting and her girls learned to understand she isn't the "bad guy".
Explaining how therapy with her daughters began, she told Real Simple magazine: “Honor was probably 11, and we were arguing all the time about dumb stuff. And I was like, I don’t want to live like this. This is not fun. I didn’t want us to have a wedge between us.
"As her mother, when I say something, she’s going to hear it as an argument or as me trying to control her. I wanted there to be someone who could explain things in a way I couldn’t.
"What I said to Honor was, ‘I want to be a better parent to you, and this is your forum to basically talk about everything that gets on your nerves that I do.'
“It put me in check. Like, ‘Yeah, I totally do that. And I’m sorry. I’m going to work on that.’
"It gave her a little bit of perspective too—that I’m not the bad guy; I’m just being a parent. She’ll come out the other side of it, and I’ll still be here. I just wanted to get to that point, and it worked.
"And the therapist allowed me to see that it’s natural for kids to disagree with their parents, and as a parent it’s not always about being right or rational in that moment. I’m not gonna front, it’s a process and I’m not perfect.”
The 42-year-old star thinks therapy has made her more compassionate and less angry.
She said: “I think it creates a more compassionate container for people to live inside, and I think it can allow for more conversation where there are misunderstandings or misalignments.
“I go to therapy so I can be kinder toward people I don’t always agree with, because I want to be happy. I still want to coexist, and I don’t want to live angry, irritated, or upset with people who don’t think like me. I want to be able to live in harmony with all.”
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