Shannon Elizabeth

Blunt and simplistic, there's not a moment in this thriller that feels inspired by anything other than criminal TV shows. This means that everything on-screen feels comfortably familiar, so we happily go along with the story even as it gets increasingly ridiculous. But just a bit of complexity might have helped us care about what happens.

When his daughter Samantha is found murdered in Los Angeles, military contractor Lex is called back from the front lines to claim her body. But after flying in from the Middle East, he discovers that it's not her. Local police Detective Klein (Patric) is more interested in investigating Lex than finding out what really happened to Samantha, so Lex starts to look into things himself. First, he checks out Samantha's shifty boss (Caan). Then, with the help of a friend (Elizabeth), he tracks down her boyfriend Ricky (Messner) and eventually finds Samantha herself (Ordway). And now there's a whole new set of problems.

Writer-director Miller tells this story as if it's a pilot episode for a cop series, eliminating any ambiguity by continually reminding us who's good and bad. As a result, there isn't a single surprise along the way, action scenes are predictable and the drama feels soapy and silly. It's not like there aren't strong themes gurgling under the surface, but none of the actors bother to break through. Fairbrass is such a meathead that we wonder how he could possibly be an elite tactical soldier, while Caan seems to be channelling vicious-thug-mode Robert DeNiro. At least he and Patric seem to be having some fun with their roles.

Continue reading: The Outsider Review

After reinventing the sex comedy in 1999's American Pie, AP2 had a high bar to live up to, and miraculously, it has done so. It actually outdoes the original (by a mile) when it comes to juvenile and crude humor. And the sex gags... jeez, the dick jokes come rapid fire, one every minute. It ain't Woody Allen, but damn if it isn't utterly hysterical.

Continue reading: American Pie 2 Review

A genuinely spectacular waste of money -- and about as mind-numbing as you'd expect from a movie which brags in ads that its "R" rating is for violence, gore and nudity -- "Thirteen Ghosts" has nothing going for it beyond its wildly excessive production design.

The star of the movie is an all-glass haunted house, designed by a grandiose and evil ghostbuster (F. Murray Abraham) to be a combination phantasm prison and gateway to hell. The joint has thousands of Latin "containment spells" etched into its transparent walls -- walls which move and shift to reconfigure rooms, thus trapping screaming B-list actors in with half-decayed, psycho-killer apparitions. (In the only worthwhile nod to William Castle's "13 Ghosts" from 1960, the characters have to wear special glasses to see the spooks -- much like the audience did for the 3D-like original.)

The house also has at its center a huge clock-like mechanism of gears and gyro-gadgets, apparently powered by the psychic energy of 12 enslaved spirits, which will open the aforementioned gateway only if one live person is sacrificed to become a required 13th ghost.

Continue reading: Thir13en Ghosts Review