Holly Madison, the former girlfriend of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner is lifting the lid on her life inside the famous mansion in her tell all memoir Down The Rabbit Hole. In the book the now 35 year old reveals she once contemplated suicide as her life as one of Hefner’s girlfriends became unbearable.

Holly MadisonHolly Madison releases her autobiography this June

"Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all—and quickly became her nightmare," US Weekly reports the book’s promotional material as stating. "After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.”

Speaking to US Weekly Madison said, "I’m excited to finally share my story and what I’ve learned from my personal experiences both inside and outside of the Playboy Mansion.”

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"I think my stories will surprise people and I’m looking forward to lifting the veil of mystique and clearing up the misconceptions so often associated with my life,” the model continued.

The memoir’s official Amazon description promises even more insider gossip as it describes the book as telling the “shocking, never-before-told story of the bizarre world inside the legendary Playboy Mansion.”

“In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the Mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself,” the description continues.

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Madison first found fame after starring in E! reality series ‘The Girls Next Door’ alongside Hefner’s other girlfriends at the time, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson. After leaving the series Madison went on to appear as a contestant in ‘Dancing with the Stars’ and in her own Las Vegas burlesque show.

In 2012 Holly welcomed daughter Rainbow with businessman Pasquale Rotella, whom she married a year later in a lavish ceremony at Disneyland. Down the Rabbit Hole will be released on June 23rd.