Evanescence singer Amy Lee is still mad at herself for staying in an abusive romance with ex Ben Moody for three years - because her own lyrics were telling her it was time to move on. The couple, who formed the goth-rock group together, split shortly before Moody quit the band in 2003, and Lee has never been happier. But she accepts she could have been happier a lot earlier in her life if she'd taken heed of the songs she wrote with Moody. She tells America's Spin magazine, "After I recorded those songs, I was listening to my own words on GOING UNDER. When it goes to the chorus, what I would have loved to hear myself sing is, 'I'm leaving and I'm not going to put up with this anymore.' But instead the line is, 'I'm going under, drowning in you.' "I was thinking to myself, 'You know what you need to do, and you're not doing it.'" Lee admits the night she heard her ex was planning to quit the group in the middle of a tour, she refused to beg him to stay. She adds, "Ben is all about the drama. He's done a lot of irrational things, so you learn not to be surprised by anything. "Ben was a really unhappy person. When you're miserable, you don't want anyone around you to be happy. So, with him gone, we felt like a weight had been lifted. I have pictures from that day. We all look giddy." Lee admits she hasn't spoken to Moody since meeting him briefly at the Grammy Awards in 2004. Moody, now an in-demand songwriter, declined to comment for the Spin article. Lee signs off on her relationship with Moody on new track THE LAST SONG I'M WASTING ON YOU.