While we all cower in terror awaiting North Korea to unleash merry hell on us all and American to subsequently unleash their own brand of crater-making carnage, one of the lighter stories of the whole current ‘North Korea might nuke us all’ tensions is that Dennis Rodman appears to have become some sort of pal to NK’s erratic leader Kim Jong-Un. Hohoho…pass the gas mask would you?

Anyway, former basketball player Rodman’s apparently affability with Jong-Un hasn’t gone unnoticed by America’s FBI, with Rodman telling the Miami Herald "I have been contacted by the FBI and I met with them. They wanted to know what went on and who's really in charge in North Korea. I have been invited back to North Korea in August and I want to go." Well, good luck getting any more information out of them Den, you’ve somewhat given the game away by publicly announcing that you’ll next be across as an informant. Of course, we could all be a charred mess by then anyway.

Rodman also refused to believe that he was being used by Jong-Un. For what we’re not sure, basketball tips? Maybe he’s going to be hollowed out and used as a missile shell? "I'm not a total idiot” commented Rodders. “I know what Kim Jong Un is threatening to do regarding his military muscle. I hope it doesn't happen because America will take whatever actions to protect America and our allies.” Oh God. 

Dennis Rodman
The Western world's safety rests on this man's shoulders...possibly