Feast 3: The Happy Finish - Movie Review

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Feast 3: The Happy Finish is a gleefully tongue-in-cheek, genre twisting horror romp that's certain to draw a cult following while sending the same number of viewers running for the hills. By the end of this review, you'll know which one you are.

If Quentin Tarantino were to make a B-monster movie, triple its audacity and you'd have Feast 3. It's hard to believe that the film actually features a scene in which a snarling monster stabs a man with a massive erect penis and ejaculates into him until his body bursts into a gooey mess... a monster whose testicles are so large that they smash into the camera as it lumbers by. And yet it does.

As the title suggests, this is the third installment of the Feast trilogy. The development of the first was featured in Matt Damon and Ben Affleck's Project Greenlight reality series in 2005. Audiences who haven't seen the first and second films will want to before watching Feast 3. The storyline is one continuous string of events revolving around dozens of drooling monsters wreaking havoc on a small Western town. The action began inside a small bar, where many of the original characters died. But some of them are still kicking and are now making their way through the city's sewer system, trying to stay alive.

As far as story goes, that's about it. Feast 3 is simplistically comprised of several dozen extremely gruesome, relentlessly violent creature attacks. But it goes so far over-the-top that it becomes a laugh-a-minute, wildly entertaining piece of cult cinema. There isn't a whole lot of artistic integrity here, but when the body count is this high, that doesn't matter much.

The characters don't have names; instead, they go by titles like Honey Pie, Jean Claude Seagal, Tat Girl, Shitkicker, and Biker Queen. The film doesn't even pretend to develop them. Instead, as the movie opens and in keeping with the series to date, each character is given a still frame with a short bio that reveals things like their hobbies and life expectancy. Some of the characters spend much of the movie with their breasts exposed. One of them walks around the entire movie with a metal pipe sticking out of his head.

To call Feast 3 a guilty pleasure would be an understatement. It is far more than a guilty pleasure, it's the cheeseball horror movie that every horror movie fan has always wanted, but was too embarrassed to ask for.

Aka Feast III.

We're gonna need more hair dye.

Facts and Figures

Year: 2009

Reviews

Contactmusic.com: 3.5 / 5

Cast & Crew

Director: John Gulager

Producer: Michael Leahy

Screenwriter: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan

Starring: Jenny Wade as Honey Pie, Martin Klebba as Thunder, Carl Anthony Payne II as Slasher, Juan Longoria García as Lightning, Diane Ayala Goldner as Biker Queen, Hanna Putnam as Secrets

Also starring: Michael Leahy