Alun Armstrong

I could have written a similar book (though perhaps not when I was fifteen) but I never guessed that the Tolkien estate and Lucasfilm would have given permission to use all of their ideas. As one of Paolini's characters says, forgiveness is easier than permission, and everyone seems to have forgiven Paolini (up to a point -- we''ll see how well the movie does). That's good, because every major plot point in Eragon is ripped off from The Lord of the Rings or the Star Wars series (with occasional ripoffs, probably subconscious, from other sources, like The Wizard of Oz). In fact, Eragon is so derivative it's surprising that it even got published. Or it would be, if publishing houses still had standards.

Continue reading: Eragon Review

Remember how badly "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" turned out when Steven Spielberg tried to wedge an impish kid into his successful archeology-action-adventure formula? Well, deja vu.

How pathetically contrived and sadly unoriginal is the obviously rushed-into-production "The Mummy Returns"? Everything you need to know can be gleaned from these three facts: 1) Prim-but-sexy Egyptologist Evelyn (Rachel Weisz) turns out to be the reincarnation of Queen Nefertiti. 2) Lantern-jawed adventurer Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) finds out that a tattoo he bears means he was born to be a Medjai warrior. And, 3) their ragamuffin 8-year-old son Alex (Freddie Boath) is "The Chosen One" -- although the movie makes little attempt to explain what that means.

All together now: Oh, brother!

Continue reading: The Mummy Returns Review