Poor dumb backwoods deputy Larry Stalder (Mr. Cable Guy). He longs to be an FBI agent, much to the chagrin of his country-fried friends and Daisy Mae wannabe gal pal Connie's (Jenny McCarthy). While spending a quiet morning at the local coffee house chewing the fat, he sees a big city vixen (Ivana Milicevic) surrounded by several men in black. Mistakenly believing she's the victim of a kidnapping, Larry springs into action. He hijacks the lady, avoids the mystery men, and believes he has saved the day.
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As for the bad news, well, there really isn't any. Alien, first released in 1979 and in theaters right now, has stood the test of time remarkably well. The beautiful and ballsy Weaver is a heroine for all seasons, the movie is suspenseful in all the right spots and it plays beautifully on the big screen with big sound.
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Roots begins with Kunta Kinte, emerging from childhood and undergoing warrior training in his tribal homeland. The slavers arrive soon enough, and after a harrowing three-month ride back across the Atlantic, Kunta is sold, becomes Toby under his new master, attempts repeated escapes, and eventually accepts his fate as he settles down with a wife and child. The Revolutionary War comes and goes, and Toby's daughter Kizzy is sold, becoming the mother of her new master's son, known as Chicken George. Chicken George in turn is sent to England to pay off a gambling debt. When he returns home after 14 years, he is a free man. The Civil War arrives, and the rest of the slaves are freed. Soon enough the family faces the perils of vehement racism and the KKK, and Chicken George finally leads his family to safety in a new settlement.
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That movie is The Running Man, the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger action vehicle that resembles a lot of the Governator's best work: He kills people by the dozens, says some funny puns in that fist-thick Austrian accent and tags along with a hot exotic beauty. If that formula works for you, read on.
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The good news: Sigourney Weaver's famous underwear shot, which probably launched millions of now middle-aged...
Twenty-some odd years after scaring the bejesus out of me as a thrill-seeking teenager, Ridley...