Can you make a film out of nothing but stock footage interspersed with hammy acting and the thinnest of stories? Yes, Virginia, but no one will think it's any good. The painfully bad Mars Needs Women has Tommy Kirk as a Martian who's come with his buddies to claim a load of females for a woman-deprived home planet. Using hypnosis and a teleportation ability, they woo women back to their miniature spacecraft -- but will they escape the Earth's military in time? Utterly corny and lacking even the most basic of special effects (though a five-minute burlesque scene by Bubbles Cash helps), what Mars Needs Women really needs is a plot.

Old Yeller Review

By Christopher Null

Very Good

Old Yeller has become such a pop culture cliche that it's almost impossible to watch the movie today with a straight face.

Right off the bat, a group of "old timey" singers croons a soulful tune about a mangy dog, invoking laughter. Then the tale of Old Yeller is laid out for us: He's a dog befriended by a young teenager (Jeff York), and together they get into all sorts of trouble -- namely tormenting every animal in the area. But has no one in this 1860's log cabin been paying attention to the constant -- constant -- warnings of hydrophobia (aka rabies)!? Well, in 84 minutes we'll find out what taunting wild hogs'll get ya!

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