Tom Jacobson

Tom Jacobson

Tom Jacobson Quick Links

Film RSS

The Darkest Hour Review


Grim
An intriguing idea and inventive visual approach is let down by a script that runs out out of steam before it ever reaches full speed. There simply isn't enough to the characters or plot to hold our interest.

Sean (Hirsch) has accompanied his pal Ben (Minghella) to Moscow for a work pitch that immediately goes awry. Drowning their sorrows in a hip bar, they meet hot tourists Natalie and Anne (Thirlby and Taylor). But a citywide blackout signals the arrival of alien creatures that aren't much more than pulses of light and energy. And they're intent on obliterating humans. So these four young people start an odyssey of survival, meeting a variety of colourful characters along the way.

Continue reading: The Darkest Hour Review

Miss March Review


Unbearable
Written, directed, and starring Trevor Moore and Zach Cregger, 2/5ths of the sketch comedy group The Whitest Kids U Know, Miss March chronicles both one man's lifetime infatuation with Playboy magazine and another man's apprehensive four-year attempt to lose his virginity to his girlfriend. The former, Tucker (Moore), has been obsessed with the cultural implications of the high-end porn mag since he first got a glimpse of one of the Pamela Anderson issues. The best friend is Eugene (Cregger), a high-school student who doubles as an abstinence lecturer. Along with his devout girlfriend Cindi (Raquel Alessi), Eugene recounts how his brother had sex and then had "retard babies" that later went on to burn down his house and kill his mother. The tirade is accompanied by projections of Syphilis-infected no-no areas.

With prom around the corner, Cindi insists that since they are so totally made for each other they should go all the way. At the behest of Tucker, Eugene gets hammered and before he can go upstairs and enjoy the best eight seconds of his life-to-date, he falls down the stairs and lands a coma for four years. Awakened by a medical advent called "The Bat Trick," which consists of Tucker hitting him in the face with a Louisville Slugger, Eugene comes to find that Cindi is now a Playboy Playmate. Serendipitously, the upcoming weekend offers a chance for all the Playmates to converge on the Playboy Mansion, and the two friends take to the road while also evading Tucker's epileptic girlfriend (Molly Stanton).

Continue reading: Miss March Review

Mighty Joe Young (1998) Review


Good
I'm beginning to get fed up. Over my four years as a critic, the thing which has kept me going is the moderate balance of films. The good balances the bad. I try to see both in equal proportions. But Disney's Mighty Joe Young remake marks the fourth week in which I haven't seen a truly terrible movie.

It's a backwards machismo, I suppose, the urge to see the things which you so loathe; but I need to see a bad film every once in a while. And, you know what, Mighty Joe Young doesn't qualify.

Continue reading: Mighty Joe Young (1998) Review

Big Trouble Review


Unbearable
Much has been said about Big Trouble, another film meant for a near-September 11th release that was postponed because its contents would be too upsetting amidst the tragedy. Now, seven months and countless airport security measures later, Touchtone Pictures has determined that it is a better time for the film's release.

But forget about September 11th for a moment and consider this: Is there ever a good time to release a film that endorses bribing airline personal for tickets to carry a suitcase containing a ticking nuclear bomb onto a plane? The answer is easy. Pre- or post-September 11th, there is no appropriate time for a comedy this poorly conceived. Big Trouble is irresponsible filmmaking; it doesn't even justify the space for an explanation. But since reviews are my business, let me try to sort out this movie's mess.

Continue reading: Big Trouble Review

Ferris Bueller's Day Off Review


Essential
One hell of a classic. A defining film for every single star in the list to your right -- hell, Ben Stein built a career out of one word ("Bueller?") here. It's amazing that Broderick is the only one who really hit it big after Bueller, but we'll always have video.

Continue reading: Ferris Bueller's Day Off Review

The Ladykillers (2004) Review


Weak
Joel and Ethan Coen's hot hands finally have cooled with their remake of The Ladykillers, and fans could probably see it coming. For starters, as mentioned, it's a remake - uncharted waters for two filmmakers best known for placing their unique fingerprints all over their unusual projects. Their vision ends up being a productive failure that's silly rather than sophisticated. We're engaged by its oddities, but never really entertained.

The original Ladykillers pitted Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, and their band of British crooks against a kindly old landlady in 1955. The Coens shift their action from England to the Deep South, where Tom Hanks wheezes and grins as a genteel criminal mastermind plotting to rob a Mississippi riverboat casino. He and his motley crew take up residence in the home of Marva Munson (Irma P. Hall), a churchgoing Bible Belter with a room to rent near the boat's dock. The men fool Munson into thinking they perform in a musical group, though they're forced to consider devious actions when the old lady discovers their criminal plans.

Continue reading: The Ladykillers (2004) Review

Mighty Joe Young Review


Good
I'm beginning to get fed up. Over my four years as a critic, the thing which has kept me going is the moderate balance of films. The good balances the bad. I try to see both in equal proportions. But Disney's Mighty Joe Young remake marks the fourth week in which I haven't seen a truly terrible movie.

It's a backwards machismo, I suppose, the urge to see the things which you so loathe; but I need to see a bad film every once in a while. And, you know what, Mighty Joe Young doesn't qualify.

Continue reading: Mighty Joe Young Review

Mission to Mars Review


Unbearable
Mission to Mars starts out with so much promise, it's hard to believe it could be anything but successful. The film has already taken a lot of flack for appearing to be a ripoff of 2001: A Space Odyssey, but maybe, I thought, it would transcend Kubrick's early sci-fi drama and put a new spin on things. Maybe blend it with a little Armageddon - you know, do the space movie right for once.

In 2020, the first manned mission to Mars is about to launch. Under the command of Luke Graham (Don Cheadle), the craft lands without a hitch, and within days they've made a startling discovery. A little radar probing turns up a strange metal just under the surface of Mars, and a mysterious disaster quickly wipes out the crew.

Continue reading: Mission to Mars Review

Christmas Vacation Review


Good
Entry #3 in the National Lampoon's Vacation series is the last funny installment of the four movies (plus one made-for-TV movie which starred none of the original cast members).

This time out the Griswolds aren't on a road trip -- they're spending a big family Christmas at home, filled with senile grandparents, and of course Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) and his white-trash brood. The usual holiday mishaps occur, from lights that won't go on to a Christmas tree that's too tall, but it's the cruel blackness of life that we see in allVacation movies that makes the film memorable. In a week's time, Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) will see his family fall apart, be attacted by a crazed squirrel, and find his boss kidnapped by Eddie after he receives a jelly of the month club subscription in lieu of an actual bonus.

Continue reading: Christmas Vacation Review

Tom Jacobson

Tom Jacobson Quick Links

Film RSS
Advertisement

Suggested

Zipper - Trailer

Zipper - Trailer

This political drama is a scandalous thriller starring Patrick Wilson and Lena Headey. It has been directed by Mora Stephens.

Seven Davis Jr - Universes Album Review

Seven Davis Jr - Universes Album Review

Seven Davis Jr.'s debut album, 'Universes', continues the astral theme in both title and tilt.

Advertisement
Chris Cornell - Euphoria Mo(u)rning (Re-Issue) Album Review

Chris Cornell - Euphoria Mo(u)rning (Re-Issue) Album Review

Chris Cornell refuses to stop, and on the eve of the release of his fourth solo album next month, he is reissuing his first solo album on vinyl and...

Puff Daddy & The Family - Finna Fet Loose ft. Pharrell Williams

Puff Daddy & The Family - Finna Fet Loose ft. Pharrell Williams

Pharrell Williams teams up with Puff Daddy and The Family on new single 'Finna Get Loose'.

Daniel Craig Hopes 'Spectre' Shows His Bond Is Not As 'Sexist And Misogynistic' As Before

Daniel Craig Hopes 'Spectre' Shows His Bond Is Not As 'Sexist And Misogynistic' As Before

The actor will have his fifth outing as the secret agent in 'Spectre' this November.

Advertisement