Thomas Dean Donnelly

Thomas Dean Donnelly

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Conan The Barbarian Review


Weak
With a complete lack of self-awareness, this po-faced remake looks more like a trash-TV series (a la Spartacus or Camelot) than a proper movie. Mainly because the filmmakers continually opt for gratuitous gore rather than actual storytelling.

Born in battle, Conan (Howard, then Momoa) is set on vengeance. His people, the Cimmerians, were slaughtered by the evil Khalar Zym (Lang), who was looking for the barbarian-held pieces to a mythical all-powerful mask. Once the mask is reassembled, Khalar Zym and his fiendish daughter Marique (McGowan) need a pure-blood of Acheron to activate it and, as luck would have it, the last one is hot babe Tamara (Nichols). So of course Conan and Tamara team up to fight off the villains and save the pre-historic world.

Continue reading: Conan The Barbarian Review

A Sound Of Thunder Review


Bad
The best thing that can be said for the embarrassing A Sound of Thunder is that at least it presupposes an audience whose belief in evolution is ironclad, sadly a minor triumph in these increasingly Scopes monkey trial-like times.

Adapted with sub-simian grace from the iconic Ray Bradbury story, the film puts us in the year 2055, where a Chicago firm called Time Safari takes wealthy, bored men back in time and hunt dinosaurs. The trick here is that Bradbury - prefiguring all the great time travel paradox stories and films to follow - realized one couldn't just do this without creating massive complications further down the time pipeline. So Time Safari has its hunters walk through the 65-million-year-old jungle on a pathway suspended above the ground, with the strict dictum not to touch anything, never step off the path and not to bring even the most microscopic thing back with them. And the dinosaur that they "hunt" (over and over again) has been selected for the fact that it's going to die anyway, bare seconds after the safari team shoots it. Thusly the time continuum remains unchanged and everybody's happy.

Continue reading: A Sound Of Thunder Review

A Sound Of Thunder Review


Bad
The best thing that can be said for the embarrassing A Sound of Thunder is that at least it presupposes an audience whose belief in evolution is ironclad, sadly a minor triumph in these increasingly Scopes monkey trial-like times.

Adapted with sub-simian grace from the iconic Ray Bradbury story, the film puts us in the year 2055, where a Chicago firm called Time Safari takes wealthy, bored men back in time and hunt dinosaurs. The trick here is that Bradbury - prefiguring all the great time travel paradox stories and films to follow - realized one couldn't just do this without creating massive complications further down the time pipeline. So Time Safari has its hunters walk through the 65-million-year-old jungle on a pathway suspended above the ground, with the strict dictum not to touch anything, never step off the path and not to bring even the most microscopic thing back with them. And the dinosaur that they "hunt" (over and over again) has been selected for the fact that it's going to die anyway, bare seconds after the safari team shoots it. Thusly the time continuum remains unchanged and everybody's happy.

Continue reading: A Sound Of Thunder Review

Sahara Review


Bad
Nearly 25 years ago, Paramount Pictures struck gold with a film about an archeologist-adventure seeker named Indiana Jones. His quest to unravel mysteries and conquer evil around the world remains one of the most thrilling stories of its kind. Based on the trailer, Sahara, with its treasure-hunting hero Dirk Pitt, would appear to embody many of its predecessor's markings. Yet, what's lurking behind all of Sahara's explosions, one-liners, and plotting enemies is a monotonous, unsatisfying trek through an endless desert that would even have Dr. Jones scrambling for a new crusade.

Matthew McConaughey plays Dirk, the carefree leader of an exploration team working to recover lost artifacts from the ocean floor off the coast of Western Africa. Dirk is infatuated with the story of a captain from an ironclad American Civil War battleship who owned the last known U.S. gold dollar. As luck would have it, this ship just so happened to journey from Virginia to the nearby nation of Mali after the war. With the permission of his boss Admiral James Sandecker (William H. Macy), Dirk and his team, including his wiseass sidekick Al Giordino (Steve Zahn), are given three days to search the Niger River for the ship and the lost gold coin.

Continue reading: Sahara Review

Thomas Dean Donnelly

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Thomas Dean Donnelly Movies

Conan The Barbarian Movie Review

Conan The Barbarian Movie Review

With a complete lack of self-awareness, this po-faced remake looks more like a trash-TV series...

A Sound Of Thunder Movie Review

A Sound Of Thunder Movie Review

The best thing that can be said for the embarrassing A Sound of Thunder is...

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A Sound Of Thunder Movie Review

A Sound Of Thunder Movie Review

The best thing that can be said for the embarrassing A Sound of Thunder is...

Sahara Movie Review

Sahara Movie Review

Nearly 25 years ago, Paramount Pictures struck gold with a film about an archeologist-adventure seeker...

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