Bette Midler doesn't aspire to be ''sexually appealing''.

The 68-year-old actress and singer, who has been married to Martin Von Haselberg for 30 years, thinks there is power in getting older.

She told PEOPLE: ''You don't care if you're sexually appealing. You want to be attractive, but there's no desperation there. You're kind of over that. And I learned independence. If you want it, you'd better do it yourself - or ask another woman to do it! You learn that friends are fabulous, and there's a lot in life. There are a lot of good people in the world.''

She added: ''I've learned that some things are not worth getting upset over, and that's a very big deal.''

Bette credits dancing for helping her to stay in shape.

She said: ''I do a lot of dancing. Dancing is the key. Women love to dance, but it never occurs to them to take a dance class.

''I was doing Zumba for a while, but now I'm doing something that's like a jazz combination. It's great. It gets your heart rate up. It makes you happy. You get to hear new music. And sometimes I sing along.''