Stefan Simchowitz

Stefan Simchowitz

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Coming Soon Review


Terrible
If Coming Soon is not the worst film of all time, it's damn near close. This horrifying movie follows three prissy, stuck-up New York City high-school girls whose two problems are 1) getting into college with the aid of bribes/daddy/lying and 2) having an orgasm (see if you can figure out that oh-so-clever title now). Kids, you can't make up shit like this. And oh, how I wish the writer hadn't made it up either. Not only is it in horrible taste, it's just plain horrible -- and oh, Mr. Gray, how sad I feel for you to be a part of this dreck.

Continue reading: Coming Soon Review

The House Of Yes Review


Good
It has often been said that films are like drugs. Let us expand upon this and say that films, in fact, are drugs of sorts. Not in the line that they are completely addictive and that one will begin to need a sort of Methadone to ween off of them but instead that they are drugs along the lines of caffeine. That each different type of movie is akin to a different type of coffee.

With this in mind, an analysis of dark comedies is possible. Dark comedies are triple-espressos drunk at two in the afternoon when your not tired but are already wired. In short, they are strong, biting, and only for the few that are immune to the residual effects.

Continue reading: The House Of Yes Review

Judas Kiss Review


Good
Intrigue and sexiness mix together in Judas Kiss, just not very well. Carla Gugino, Gil Bellows, Simon Baker, and Til Schweiger make an unlikely band of scam artists-cum-kidnappers, but it's cop partners Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson (both with outrageously bad New Orleans accents) that really make you wonder who the hell cast this thing. Tons of stars, including Hal Holbrook in an exceptionally over-the-top role, make this movie fun but unspectacular.

Johns Review


Bad
A latter-day Midnight Cowboy? They wish. Often described as gritty and realistic, boring and predictable is more like it.
Stefan Simchowitz

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