Former royal Sarah Ferguson has tearfully recalled the hell of becoming Prince Andrew's wife, revealing she hardly saw him and once jetted off to Australia in a desperate attempt to be with her absent husband.
Segments of the Duchess of York's upcoming TV special Finding Sarah were aired during Fergie's appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show in America on Wednesday (11May11) and in one she broke down as she remembered becoming a media target and a national laughing stock as she demanded to be with her husband, who was serving in the military overseas.
She now admits in the documentary series she was not prepared for royal life when she wed Prince Andrew in 1986, but she "worshipped" her husband and still adores him.
But she felt "worthless and lost" as his wife - because she only saw him for 40 days a year for the five years of their marriage.
Breaking down on camera, she says, "I had to learn to be a princess... and it was terrifying. Andrew wasn't there and I didn't know what to do.
"In 1988, when Beatrice was born, I said, 'I want to see my husband,' and I went to Australia to find him. That's when the press turned on me... They started calling me the 'Duchess of Pork' and 'fat, frumpy Fergie'. Stupid me, I believed it.
"They said I was awful and the more I said , 'But I'm not,' the more it spun out of control. It's never stopped since then."
The docu-series, which debuts on Winfrey's new Own Tv network in June (11), also features a therapy session in which Ferguson sits down with top TV self-help guru Dr. Phil MCGraw and tears up when talking about her parents.
She tells MCGraw she still blames herself for their split - when her mother ran off with a polo player - and admits her father's lack of emotion made her feel terrible about herself.
Fergie says, "Every time I got upset dad would call me a sheep's arse and tell me I looked like a clown and to grow up and stop being so silly, so I did and I just shut up."
The series has a few lighter moments - at one point Fergie is seen being driven around London and pointing at Buckingham Palace.
She jokes, "That's my old house... My room was on the second floor."