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Village Of The Damned (1995) Review


Unbearable
Telepathic children took over the mind of John Carpenter, forcing him to make this remake, which is generously referred to as "a load of crap." Horribly, horribly bad. Avoid.

John Carpenter's Vampires Review


OK
I'm a child of the 80s. I like my horror movies, and I like them cheesy. They're not scary to me, they're excuses to get a little closer with my girlfriend, they're ways to enjoy sick comedy in the theatre while the idiot girl's getting gutted. They're my reminder that fiction is more fun than fact. I like them quick, I like them gory, and I like them campy. All of those adjectives are words you can tack on to John Carpenter's Vampires.

Now anyone who has read my review on Halloween will know that I hold this man in no reverence. To be honest, I pretty much hate the bastard. But, I do admit his prowess behind the camera and his ability to scare, although not his creative ability. But this time, he didn't pen the screenplay, so I'm happy. I don't hate his style, I hate his original material. After all, has anyone seen Jim Carrey or Pauly Shore's standup? It sucks. Are they funny people, yes.

Continue reading: John Carpenter's Vampires Review

In The Mouth Of Madness Review


OK
Curious recursive horror movie, in which mild-mannered Sam Neill is sent to investigate the disappearance of a massively famous horror author (Jürgen Prochnow). Turns out Prochnow's Sutter Cane is living in his own horrific imagination, and anyone that visits his town finds himself living there too. And Cane's world of hell is set to move on out to the rest of the world when his latest book (and movie) come out. Neill is effective but sidekick Julie Carmen (who?) comes off as the poor man's Talia Shire. Overall this is a relatively original riff on the genre, and worth checking out for horror fans looking for a bit of a new spin.

Ghosts Of Mars Review


Unbearable
America loves convenience. After all, we're the culture that invented the cell phone, the 24-hour ATM, and my most beloved, the remote control. Yet perhaps this time, with Ghosts of Mars, we have taken our love of convenience to far.

Ghosts of Mars stars Natasha Henstridge as a tough as nails, pill-poppin', Martian cop, sent with her squadron to retrieve "Demolition" Williams (Ice Cube) from a remote mining town for trial back home. When she and her comrades, appropriately dubbed "The Commander," "The Rookies," and the guy with the cool accent discover the town's residents slaughtered, they are forced to team up with Williams to escape from the remaining residents' head-chopping, alien-possessed clutches.

Continue reading: Ghosts Of Mars Review

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Ghosts of Mars Movie Review

Ghosts of Mars Movie Review

America loves convenience. After all, we're the culture that invented the cell phone, the...

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