One night, however, everything changes after his college professor, Crowley (Robert Englund), asks Jack to fix some pipes in his formerly abandoned house. Jack agrees, but unknowingly releases an ancient evil while unscrewing something. After Jack goes home for the evening, the evil forces find their way inside Professor Crowley and take over his mind and body.
Continue reading: Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer Review
Truth be told, a serial killer mockumentary has been done before and with great effect in Man Bites Dog. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon is a little more tongue-in-cheek than that modern classic, and it's a decently good time, too. As in Dog, here we have a camera crew following around murderer Leslie Vernon (Nathan Baesel). Only rather than in gritty reality, Leslie lives in a pseudo-real-pseudo-movie-world where Jason Voorhees and Freddy are actual people. We catch up with Leslie as he plans his comeback, having been vanquished long ago, which will occur in a spooky farmhouse full of co-eds and jocks, with macabre methods of impaling and otherwise dispatching his victims being planned.
Continue reading: Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon Review
Viewed through older eyes, Nightmare isn't remotely scary. I can see the nostalgic value of Freddy Kruger (played by Robert Englund, who has a built career on this role) the same way that I sometimes hum Debbie Gibson songs to myself. But as a first-time viewer, I found my attention caught by the lousy acting, hideously dated wardrobe, and actress Ronee Blakley's apparent bronzer addiction. She makes Jessica Simpson in The Dukes of Hazzard look like an albino.
Continue reading: A Nightmare On Elm Street Review
Here we find our heroine Christine (old horror regular Jill Schoelen) playing a modern opera singer who's mysteriously whisked back in time to Victorian London, where the usual Phantom goings-on ensue. Grisly murders ensue, all courtesy of the disfigured man in the basement (Robert Englund, natch), with one specific twist: He doesn't just wear a pretty mask, he uses his victim's skin to make new faces.
Continue reading: The Phantom of the Opera (1989) Review
Wrong-o! Story: Crazy piercing/tattoo/Internet fetishist (Snider, playing the Marilyn Manson role) kidnaps kids and pierces/tattoos/tortures them. Fetishist is caught and "rehabilitated". Fetishist is lynched. Repeat.
Continue reading: Strangeland Review