Meanwhile, the Vegas police department is searching for the killer behind a series of slayings in the city's most popular nightclubs. Conflicts emerge between Officer Johnson (Tommy "Tiny" Lister), Officer Patterson (Glenn Plummer), and head detective Burns (Daniel Baldwin) who want to suppress the truth that vampires are taking over the city. Soon, Patterson is found dead... victim of a bite to the neck. Johnson is left to crack the case alone, and must do so before Q succeeds in finding a bride.
Continue reading: Vegas Vampires Review
You'll be hungry for a better movie after suffering through this film, a vanity project and made-for-TV remake of the 1945 film, the first and only directorial experience by none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Continue reading: Christmas In Connecticut (1992) Review
That's right. Just talkin' 'bout Shaft. The remake. Er, the sequel that is -- in what might very well be the first and only time a sequel has been given the same title as the original. And believe me, that's just where the stupidity of Shaft begins.
Continue reading: Shaft (2000) Review
Roots begins with Kunta Kinte, emerging from childhood and undergoing warrior training in his tribal homeland. The slavers arrive soon enough, and after a harrowing three-month ride back across the Atlantic, Kunta is sold, becomes Toby under his new master, attempts repeated escapes, and eventually accepts his fate as he settles down with a wife and child. The Revolutionary War comes and goes, and Toby's daughter Kizzy is sold, becoming the mother of her new master's son, known as Chicken George. Chicken George in turn is sent to England to pay off a gambling debt. When he returns home after 14 years, he is a free man. The Civil War arrives, and the rest of the slaves are freed. Soon enough the family faces the perils of vehement racism and the KKK, and Chicken George finally leads his family to safety in a new settlement.
Continue reading: Roots Review
Just about the time the fur was really flying between Microsoft and the Justice Department in 1999, screenwriter Howard Franklin ("The Man Who Knew Too Little") seized the day and scurried over to MGM with the kind of pitch that integrity-free studio execs love to hear: 25 words or less and based on an earlier, successful movie.
It must have gone something like this: What if we ripped off "The Firm," except instead of having a company full of evil lawyers trying to corrupt the hero, we'll feature a monopolizing Microsoft clone? We could get a low-rent, pretty boy matinee idol to play the college grad geek (he'll have no credibility, but what the hell? he'll bring in the teenage girls!) and he'll stumble on to a giant technology conspiracy masterminded by a very thinly veiled Bill Gates surrogate!
And thus was born "Antitrust," a transparent thriller from the recycle bin, transcribed into a laptop computer and retrofitted with an MP3 soundtrack, MTV editing and a cast of beautiful people where the nerds should be.
Continue reading: Antitrust Review
Why do you suppose "Saturday Night Live" stars seem to be no more discriminating when picking movie scripts than zoo monkeys are when they eat their own feces? Are they that desperate to see themselves on the big screen?
And what kind of studio executive can live with himself after green-lighting a picture in which the infuriatingly shrill Chris Kattan nancies his way through a lobotomized plot about the nitwit son of a mob boss going undercover in the FBI? I mean, is it all about the money? Do these producers and actors have any shame or integrity whatsoever?
If "Corky Romano" is any indication, clearly they do not. An aimless parade of puerile ploys for Kattan to launch into unwatchably histrionic slapstick buffoonery, the movie revolves around a ludicrously benevolent mafia don (Peter Falk, desperately clinging to his dignity) calling home the shunned white sheep of his family to steal evidence from the feds so he won't go to jail.
Continue reading: Corky Romano Review
Driven entirely by tedious clichés, vulgar stereotypes, tawdry and low-brow raunch-as-comedy gags, and the degrading, almost minstrel-show antics of a mugging, rubber-faced Cuba Gooding Jr., "Boat Trip" is a gay-themed movie aimed squarely and exclusively at stupid straight people.
The contrived mix-up plot finds Gooding and John Belushi-wannabe Horatio Sanz ("Saturday Night Live") trapped onboard a cruise ship full of gay men for a weeklong voyage, and writer-director Mort Nathan (who scripted the Farrelly Brothers' "Kingpin") finds endless excuses for them to act cartoonishly homosexual in order to score with the few women on board.
Gooding has fallen for the ship's dance instructor (Roselyn Sanchez) -- a steamy Latina who walks around in see-through linen tops and three pounds of eye shadow while professing "I don't care about makeup, I don't care about what I'm wearing." Meanwhile fat, ugly, loutish Sanz has the hots for a brain-dead bimbo (Playboy Playmate Victoria Silvstedt) from the "Swedish suntanning team" who was rescued from a shipwreck along with a dozen other swimsuit models. Inexplicably, she has the hots for him too -- not because there's anything attractive about him whatsoever, but because the director is transparently more interested in any excuse for bug-eyed boob shots than he is in anything remotely resembling story or humor.
Continue reading: Boat Trip Review
The rocker will release the new record next year.
On the eve of series three making its debut on Netflix, its creator Charlie Brooker confirmed that Foster was lined up to direct an episode for next...
Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana and Dave Bautista return.
Almost pathologically buoyant, this brightly colourful animated comedy is so cheeky that it's impossible to dislike.
A report in Variety suggests that Firth could play the role of William Weatherall Wilkins in 'Mary Poppins Returns'.
Who's the bad mutha -- shut yo mouth!That's right. Just talkin' 'bout Shaft....
Directors, screenwriters, and everyone else involved in making a movie have a singular task: make...
The one question that eats at me after seeing Corky Romano is why Touchstone spent...
Just about the time the fur was really flying between Microsoft and the Justice Department...
Why do you suppose "Saturday Night Live" stars seem to be no more discriminating when...
Driven entirely by tedious clichés, vulgar stereotypes, tawdry and low-brow raunch-as-comedy gags, and the degrading,...