Ray Park

Ray Park

Ray Park Quick Links

News Pictures Video Film RSS

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Review


Terrible

By ignoring everything that made 2009's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra a hugely entertaining guilty pleasure, the all-new writers and director of this sequel have made one of the most abrasively annoying action movies in recent memory. And even worse, they have indulged in exactly the same over-serious idiocy that the first film was gently lampooning. Instead, this is just a bombastic, incoherent, offensive mess.

Since the US President (Pryce) has been replaced by an evil doppelganger from the villainous Cobra organisation, he now sets about destroying his enemies, the elite G.I. Joe force. Led by Duke (Tatum), they're sent to collect some rogue nukes in Pakistan, and everything goes wrong. Now it's up to three off-the-grid Joes - meatlead leader Roadblock (Johnson), shy muscle-boy Flint (Cotrona) and tough-sexy Jaye (Palicki) - to stop Cobra's nefarious plan, whatever that might be. Their key opponents are Cobra goon Firefly (Stevenson) and ninja Storm Shadow (Lee), who's more complex than he looks. And the Joes have secret allies in Asian pals Jinx (Yung) and Snake Eyes (Park), as well as the original Joe himself (Willis).

The main problem here is that producer di Bonaventura forgot that it takes a lot of skill to make a stupid movie that's actually entertaining. Instead, this film is predictable and inane, with action scenes that stretch the limits even of stupid-movie plausibility (such as a ludicrous Spidey-style aerial battle in the Himalayas). And the fist-fights are impossible to see because they are confusingly directed, jarringly edited and then converted into unnecessary 3D. When everything explodes in every single chase scene, it becomes a bit boring really. And while there are gadgets everywhere, none of them are very cool.

Continue reading: G.I. Joe: Retaliation Review

G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer


After the events of the first film, which saw them take on an organisation called COBRA and a notorious arms dealer, the G.I. Joe Team are back in a new adventure.

Continue: G.I. Joe: Retaliation Trailer

Los Angeles Screening of 'G.I.JOE:The Rise of Cobra' held at the Grauman's Chinese Theater

Ray Park and Lisa Park - Ray Park and Lisa Park Hollywood, California - Los Angeles Screening of 'G.I.JOE:The Rise of Cobra' held at the Grauman's Chinese Theater Thursday 6th August 2009

Ray Park and Lisa Park

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Review


Excellent
Frankly, this is what summer movies should be like. The filmmakers have harvested the coolest elements from blockbusters over the past five or six years and thrown them all into one wildly entertaining, thoroughly over-the-top action thriller.

US soldiers Duke and Ripcord (Tatum and Wayans) are guarding a terrifying new nano-weapon when they're attacked and then defended by two outrageously high-tech assault forces. They of course eventually join the good side, the G.I. Joes, an elite team led by General Hawk (Quaid). These top commandos (including Nichols, Taghmaoui, Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Park) are hunting Duke's ex Ana (Miller), who has gone over to the dark side to help supervillain arms dealer McCullen (Eccleston) and his Vader-esque evil-doctor sidekick with their nefarious plan for world domination.

Continue reading: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Review

Wizard World at the Los Angeles Convention Center

Ray Park Saturday 15th March 2008 Wizard World at the Los Angeles Convention Center Los Angeles, California

Ray Park

X-Men Review


OK
Well, comic book freaks can take a breather, as another sci-fi fantasy hits the big screen, this time in the long-awaited, highly-anticipated, it-better-be-good X-Men.

Without too much regret, I can say that X-Men will be palatable to fans and newbies alike. It's not a great film, but it will probably follow the arc of the Superman and Batman movies -- tons of sequels of variable quality until an abrupt and dismal end a decade later.

Continue reading: X-Men Review

X-Men Review


OK
Well, comic book freaks can take a breather, as another sci-fi fantasy hits the big screen, this time in the long-awaited, highly-anticipated, it-better-be-good X-Men.

Without too much regret, I can say that X-Men will be palatable to fans and newbies alike. It's not a great film, but it will probably follow the arc of the Superman and Batman movies -- tons of sequels of variable quality until an abrupt and dismal end a decade later.

Continue reading: X-Men Review

Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever Review


Unbearable
Pay good money to see Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever and you have nobody but yourself to blame. The signs, after all, shine so bright in warning you about this waste of brain cells that Stevie Wonder sent me an e-mail earlier this week telling me Ballistic would stink on ice.

Heck, even Stevie Wonder jokes are fresher than the Ballistic script. Blessed with the most ridiculous title in recent memory, Ballistic pits icy cool Antonio Banderas against smoldering hot Lucy Liu and watches the sparks fly. And fly. Then explode. And then fly some more. Liu, as rogue DIA agent Sever, kidnaps a child who's unknowingly carrying the latest invention of an unidentified shadow government. The device turns soldiers into flawless assassins. Eager to get their own hands on the device, the FBI blackmails former agent Jeremiah Ecks (Banderas) into stopping Sever and retrieving the boy.

Continue reading: Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever Review

X-Men Review


Weak

As overwrought, over-buzzed, F/X-driven, pure-popcorn summer escapist flicks go, "X-Men" delivers the goods better than most.

You want supernatural baddies bent on world domination? You got it. Explosions? Check. Super-charged, fly-wire kung-fu fights? They're in ample supply. Highfalutin credibility-lending Shakespearean actors hired to chew scenery? Two, even! Visual effect that wow the audience more with their obvious expense than the impression they leave on the retinas? And how!

Plot, you ask? Dialogue? As simplistic as possible, please, and only when absolutely necessary.

Continue reading: X-Men Review

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Review


Weak
With all the spirit of its predecessors but none of the magic, "Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace" can ultimately be summed up with two expressions: "cool!" and "feh."

What's cool?

Continue reading: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Review

Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever Review


Hmmm

If it weren't for director Wych "Kaos" Kaosayananda's laughably excessive use of slow-motion, the convoluted, monotonous, mindlessly flashy, espionage-action bomb "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever" would be about 12 minutes long -- which might have made it almost watchable.

In a plot more scattershot than its endless, aimless rounds of ammunition, "Ballistic" kitchen-sinks together rival government intel agencies, microscopic assassination nano-bots, poorly faked deaths and new identities, a kidnapped kid that must be rescued in "less than 12 hours" for no explained reason, and rogue spies avenging their murdered families. It's nearly impossible to keep track of who's trying to kill whom and why, but that's of little importance to Bangkok film industry refugee Kaos. As long as somebody is getting shot or something is blowing up, he couldn't care less.

The uninspired bedlam that passes for action in this disaster isn't any more lucid than the story. Shrapnel-flying, cartwheel-turning shootout scenes are cheap, disorderly rip-offs from the "The Matrix." Wet asphalt used to give the movie a slick look makes for boring motorcycle "chases" that never exceed 40 mph (and even at that speed it's hard to say who's the chaser and who's the chasee). And Kaos seems to live by the mantra "why shoot at someone when you can set off explosions all around them -- and still miss?"

Continue reading: Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever Review

Ray Park

Ray Park Quick Links

News Pictures Video Film RSS