After a witty lead like that, at this point in the movie review, I usually launch into a brief plot synopsis. So here goes: A down-to-earth teenage girl hates her crazy mother.

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A threesome of comedy second-bananas star in "Without a Paddle" as childhood pals (and Central Casting clichés) who reunite after the funeral of an adventurous friend (he died in a parachuting accident) for one "last chance to do something incredibly stupid together" -- they get lost in the Oregon woods while hunting for the missing loot of legendary skyjacker D.B. Cooper.

One guy is an over-achieving pantywaist physician (Seth Green, Scott Evil in "Austin Powers"), one's a slacker stuck in a responsibility-ducking rut (Matthew Lillard, Shaggy from the "Scooby-Doo" flicks), and one's a wisecracking lout (Ashton Kutcher's talent-deficient "Punk'd" sidekick Dax Shepard) who is rapidly approaching an age at which arrested development becomes inescapably pathetic.

But on this boating trip, all of them will overcome their hang-ups and discover that "being alive is the treasure" by way of predictable misadventures: going over waterfalls and having run-ins with bears, a redneck sheriff, heavy-set and heavily-armed hillbilly pot farmers, a mysterious mountain man (wild-bearded Burt Reynolds) and a pair of sexy tree-sitting flower children with shaved pits but hairy legs.

Continue reading: Without A Paddle Review