Once again deciding to rely entirely on creepy art direction, set design, and half-assed CGI, Silver is back again at the whole "haunted house" game. Last time he handed up a haunted insane asylum (House on Haunted Hill) and a group of under- or overrated actors and said "boo." This time he hands us Shannon Elizabeth, Tony Shalhoub, Matthew Lillard, F. Murray Abraham, all sequestered in a glass house with Latin written across its walls -- oh yeah, and let's not forget the comic relief nanny (Rah Digga).
Continue reading: 13 Ghosts Review
A genuinely spectacular waste of money -- and about as mind-numbing as you'd expect from a movie which brags in ads that its "R" rating is for violence, gore and nudity -- "Thirteen Ghosts" has nothing going for it beyond its wildly excessive production design.
The star of the movie is an all-glass haunted house, designed by a grandiose and evil ghostbuster (F. Murray Abraham) to be a combination phantasm prison and gateway to hell. The joint has thousands of Latin "containment spells" etched into its transparent walls -- walls which move and shift to reconfigure rooms, thus trapping screaming B-list actors in with half-decayed, psycho-killer apparitions. (In the only worthwhile nod to William Castle's "13 Ghosts" from 1960, the characters have to wear special glasses to see the spooks -- much like the audience did for the 3D-like original.)
The house also has at its center a huge clock-like mechanism of gears and gyro-gadgets, apparently powered by the psychic energy of 12 enslaved spirits, which will open the aforementioned gateway only if one live person is sacrificed to become a required 13th ghost.
Continue reading: Thir13en Ghosts Review