Patrick Swayze's widow has started sessions with a grief counsellor after growing "sick" of analysing the star's death with her friends.
The actor lost his battle with pancreatic cancer in 2009, and his wife Lisa Niemi has written a book about his 21-month fight against the disease.
In the tome, she opens up about how she has coped with losing her partner, and reveals she has turned to a therapist after the "depression" of mourning took its toll.
She writes in Worth Fighting For: Love, Loss and Moving Forward, "Part of me thinks, 'I should be over this by now.' It's almost like an embarrassment. In addition to feeling like a broken girl, I feel like a broken record.
"It's only just recently that I started talking to a grief counsellor. I got sick of hearing myself say the same stuff in my head and to the friends I share with. Depression seems to have become a permanent fixture in my life. Like it's stuck inside me and won't unclog.
"I'll have some wonderful days, and then I'll crash and it feels like nothing has changed at all. I still miss him as terribly as I ever did."