International pharmaceutical company The Umbrella Corporation's deadly T-virus - initially designed to dramatically alter living and recently dead organisms - continues its rapid spread throughout the world, turning everyone in its path to flesh eating zombies, after it was released from the company's underground base near Raccoon City.
Continue: Resident Evil: Retribution Trailer
Russell Mulcahy, the newest director in the fold, knows from exhaustible cult franchises, having made the original Highlander. Mulcahy is probably the best director to ever attempt a Resident Evil movie, and he gives the film a more polished look than its predecessors. Mulcahy isn't exactly an original stylist, but the action is coherent and sometimes even striking: the film opens with an eerie, near-wordless sequence capped by an image that can only be described as a pile of Milla Jovoviches. Luckily, continuity is maintained by original Evil filmmaker Paul W.S. Anderson, screenwriter here and provider of much exposition and laughable dialogue to match its predecessors.
Continue reading: Resident Evil: Extinction Review
When I watch certain actors paint such vivid and animated characters across the silver screen, I am almost reach a state of pure cinema bliss. I came close to that bliss when I watched the riveting Richard Gere is his latest film, American Gigolo 2, Male Gigolo. Gere has such a powerful presence in a number of memorable moments that draw from him an almost frightening realism that seems to reach out from the screen to the audience. Richard Gere's performance in the film--oh, wait a minute--let me retract that last statement. Did I say Richard Gere? Sorry for the confusion. I meant Rob Schneider, and his new film Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo. Gere and Schneider, I tend to mix up the two so often.
Continue reading: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo Review
But while I'll admit that I felt that twinge (since I am an old fan of the games), I can't say that this equally lame sequel does anything to prolong that twinge into real enjoyment. Resident Evil: Apocalypse rots - as badly as its zombie costars. It has a few cheap violent thrills, but none of the true suspense or chills that you'll crave.
Continue reading: Resident Evil: Apocalypse Review
One of the indications that a screenwriter has been living in Hollywood too long is when he start writing stories in which gorgeous, intelligent women fall in love with homely, chauvinist trolls like Rob Schneider and David Spade.
In a city where real-life Barbie dolls are only one phone call to Heidi Fleiss away for anyone who can afford them, such plots stop seeming so fantastic after a while, which is how we get movies like "Lost & Found," in which 98-pound pig Spade bagged French beauty Sofie Marceau, and this week's "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo."
Rob Schneider, late of "Saturday Night Live," is laughably cast as a romantic lead -- and a male prostitute -- in this occasionally funny fantasy for the "Beavis and Butthead" set.
Continue reading: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalo Review
Every inch a traditional, joyously corny, pith helmetswashbuckler flick -- complete with damsel in distress -- Universal's post-modernremake of "The Mummy" is a masterful marriage of '30s adventure/horrorand self-cognizant, Millennium-era, thrill-a-minute action.
Packed with awesome CGI special effects and anchored byBrendan Fraser, an ideal dashing-but-scruffy, lantern-jawed hero, thereisn't much left of the 1932 Boris Karloff original here, but as good old-fashionedadventure goes, this "Mummy" is giddy, low-brow fun.
Fraser stars as an soldier of fortune in 1923, leadinga group of treasure hunters and archeologists to a mythological 3,000-year-oldEgyptian city he stumbled on to once before. During their dig, the groupinadvertently awakens an undead and unfriendly mummy -- an ancient priestwho was buried alive in a sarcophagus filled with flesh-eating scarab beetlesmillennia ago for diddling a Pharaoh's mistress, and now he wants her back.
Continue reading: The Mummy Review
Remember how badly "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" turned out when Steven Spielberg tried to wedge an impish kid into his successful archeology-action-adventure formula? Well, deja vu.
How pathetically contrived and sadly unoriginal is the obviously rushed-into-production "The Mummy Returns"? Everything you need to know can be gleaned from these three facts: 1) Prim-but-sexy Egyptologist Evelyn (Rachel Weisz) turns out to be the reincarnation of Queen Nefertiti. 2) Lantern-jawed adventurer Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) finds out that a tattoo he bears means he was born to be a Medjai warrior. And, 3) their ragamuffin 8-year-old son Alex (Freddie Boath) is "The Chosen One" -- although the movie makes little attempt to explain what that means.
All together now: Oh, brother!
Continue reading: The Mummy Returns Review
In an era of resurgent zombie-flick creativity that has seen the likes of "28 Days Later" and this year's "Dawn of the Dead" remake, the leaden mindlessness of "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" is nothing short of pathetic.
Having burned through most vague ties to its videogame roots in the unwatchable first "Resident Evil" -- an inept, logic-impaired, plotless wonder of unmitigated noise, cheap scares and endless ammunition -- this sequel begins with the biggest opening-scene cliché in all zombiedom: a quiet day in the suburbs where chaos will soon reign.
Underneath this blissful berg (which returning writer Paul W.S. Anderson seems to have forgotten he showed destroyed in Part One) is the lab where the global-evil Umbrella Corporation's virus experiments went so very wrong back in 2002. Foolishly re-opened to learn "what went on down there," out pours an army of the undead, and apparently there are only two people who really know how to fight them -- slinky, half-naked, heavily-armed 105-lb. hotties Milla Jovovich (the original movie's survivor) and Sienna Guillory ("Love Actually").
Continue reading: Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse Review
'Smalls Change (Meditations Upon Ageing)' arrives in April.
The two awards have made for a great 72nd birthday present for the country music icon.
International pharmaceutical company The Umbrella Corporation's deadly T-virus - initially designed to dramatically alter living...
I can't say I remember what exactly happened in the first two Resident Evil movies,...
When the lights go down--the manwhore comes out to play.When I watch certain actors paint...
That darn mummy!Stab him, burn him, unravel him (or whatever Brendan Fraser & Co. did...
Anyone who's a fan of the Resident Evil series of video games can't help but...
One of the indications that a screenwriter has been living in Hollywood too long is...
Every inch a traditional, joyously corny, pith helmetswashbuckler flick -- complete with damsel in distress...
Remember how badly "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" turned out when Steven Spielberg...
In an era of resurgent zombie-flick creativity that has seen the likes of "28 Days...