Nicole Scherzinger suffered from bulimia during her time in the Pussycat Dolls and made herself sick every day.
Nicole Scherzinger suffered from bulimia during her time in the Pussycat Dolls.
The 34-year-old singer says she hated herself ''so much'' she would force herself to vomit ''every day'' because she felt so lonely in the band.
She said: ''I just hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.
''I did it every day for, like, years. Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I'd try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.''
Nicole felt ''embarrassed'' about her problem and didn't want to upset anyone by revealing how much she was struggling with the pressures of fame.
In an upcoming episode of 'VH1 Behind the Music', she said: '''It's embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know.
''I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It's like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I'd come back to my room and I'd be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction''
A clip for the programme also showed relatives of the singer - who quit Pussycat Dolls two years ago - revealing she had to ''get help or die''.
The show airs in the US on October 7.