Smith Struggled With Cancer Diagnosis

The Harry Potter star underwent chemotherapy for breast cancer in a London hospital last year (08) and even lost her hair during the intense treatments.

But the actress struggled to accept the doctor's news that she had the disease.

She says, "I was never nervous, well I was, but I didn't think it was anything serious because years ago I felt one (a lump) before and had been hurled into hospital. It was benign and (I) assumed this one would be too. It was a bit unnerving when it wasn't. But treatment is so swift you don't have time to think about anything."

Smith admits she found the aggressive chemo so difficult that, in her darkest moments, she would have been relieved if she had lost her fight against the disease.

She adds, "(Chemotherapy) was very peculiar, something that makes you feel much worse than the cancer itself, a very nasty thing. I used to go to treatment on my own, and nearly everybody else was with somebody. I wouldn't have liked that. Why would you want to make anybody sit in those places?

"I was relieved to be the age I was, because by now you feel like it's all over anyway. That's why I hated seeing young people receiving treatment. I couldn't bear that, it didn't seem fair. To be honest, you feel so ghastly you wouldn't mind dying a lot of the time."

The 74 year old has since received the all-clear from doctors and is due back for a check-up later this month (Oct09).