British rocker Pete Doherty was upset when he learned he had been banned from attending his pal Amy Winehouse's funeral last year (11), insisting she would have wanted him there.
The musician was friends with the Back to Black hitmaker and recalls a poignant evening in 2010 when she attended a reunion gig by his band The Libertines at London venue The Forum.
He admits he was devastated by her death in July last year (11) and is still upset he was ordered to stay away from her funeral service, reportedly at the request of Winehouse's father, Mitch.
Doherty tells NME magazine, "I think she would have wanted me at the funeral. It's a personal feeling of grief I've never had the chance to see through. I'm made to feel like I'm not her friend, which I was.
"She came to The Libertines gig at the Forum. That was one of the last nights we spent together. We came back to the hotel and she stayed all night. At one point it was me, her and Carl (Barat) having a little sing-song, and it was all good, you know? Although she was a raging drunk, and kept insisting that she was in The Libertines."
Recalling the moment he heard the tragic news of the singer's death, Doherty adds, "I was sat in a room, a matchbox room in Camden Town (north London), not able to leave, basically wallowing in my own filth. Literally knee deep in s**t. Literally not able to move.
"I couldn't speak, I couldn't see anyone, I couldn't pick up the guitar, and when I did pick up the guitar it was woeful ballads about how Amy wouldn't be coming round tonight. It wasn't a very inspiring time."