Osbourne Related To Vesuvius Survivors

Rock wildman OZZY OSBOURNE has discovered how he managed to survive 40 years of drink and drug abuse - he's descended from Romans who lived through the eruption of Mount Vesuvius.
The former Black Sabbath frontman has undergone complicated DNA testing for research scientists to map out his entire genetic make-up.
Experts were then able to use his profile to determine his possible ancestors - and the rocker discovered he is related to legendary U.S. outlaw Jesse James and Romans who survived the Vesuvius eruption in the year 79 AD.
Ozzy tells the Sunday Times Magazine, "I was curious. Given the swimming pools of booze I've guzzled over the years - not to mention all the cocaine, morphine, sleeping pills, cough syrup, LSD, Rohypnol... you name it - there's really no plausible medical reason why I should still be alive. Maybe my DNA could say why...
"Apparently (I'm) a distant relation of Henry 'Skip' Gates, a big-deal Harvard professor and a mate of President Obama... Other members of my extended family include the original Jesse James, the last Russian Tsar, and King George I... Speaking of dead relatives, it also turns out that I share some DNA with the people killed in Pompeii when Mount Vesuvius blew its top in AD79...
"That means I'm also probably related to some of the survivors. Which makes a lot of sense: if any of the Roman Osbournes drank nearly as much as I used to, they wouldn't have even felt the lava. They could have just walked it off."


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Comments

Joseph J Galea's picture

Joseph J Galea

Dear Mr Osbourne, Did you ever consider that GOD Almighty is giving you a reprieve in order to suffer a conversion. Not a joke He does that many times if the person is not beyond Hope!
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