Man In Court Over Saucy '50 Shades Of Grey' Assault

Thanks to adult literature sensation '50 Shades Of Grey', 31 year-old Raymond Hodgson has found himself on the wrong end of probably one of the most ridiculous court cases we've heard this year having been charged for common assault.

The story goes that Hodgson's girlfriend Emma MCCormick was so enraptured in the popular light-erotic novel that she wouldn't put it down, even when Hodgson told her to stop reading it, an argument ensuing over text message. Enraged, Hodgson apparently headed over to MCCormick's parents' house - where she still lives - and took nothing less than a bottle of brown sauce with him. Oh no! What was he going to do with it? Beat her round the head? Overzealously season her dinner so that she wouldn't be able to enjoy it as much? No, he simply elected to squirt the stuff into her face as she answered the door, albeit after slapping her in the face.

Hodgson's lawyer said that he denied slapping her. "He lost his temper and went round to her home armed with a bottle of brown sauce, which he should never have done," they said. "Emma says it stung her eyes and it was all over the walls, which she had to clean up afterwards. I've spoken to Raymond and he's extremely sorry about it. He was angry that she suggested he slapped her because he hadn't. But they are now friends and they have been in touch with each other." Hodgson has been ordered to pay his victim 100 GBP in compensation and 85 GBP towards prosecution costs.