Dickinson Speaks Out About Daughter's Death

Actress ANGIE DICKINSON has opened up for the first time about her autistic daughter NIKKI's suicide. The Ocean's Eleven star agreed to talk about the tragedy to fashion bible Vanity Fair for the publication's January (08) issue. Nikki, 40, took her own life after battling autism-related Asperger's Syndrome Her mother says, "I miss Nikki so much, but it was her decision. The world was too harsh a place for her." DICkinson reveals her daughter was the reason she stepped back from Hollywood's glare at the prime of her acting career. She adds, "Nikki needed me so strongly. It wasn't a sacrifice. Would I have been out working? Yes, if I didn't have a daughter who needed me."


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I did not know I had Aspergers when your daughter was set free. But know I do I can understand her pain, how lonely this planet can be for us aspies, I still feel sad of such an unnecessary lost. Things are bewginning to change, and since being diagnosed 6 months ago, for the first time I not only know myself, but can understand my mother.I have since written an article and set up a web site Aspergers Parallel Planet, as now I know my Our 'symptoms' are in fact ourselves, not some unfortunate illness we suffer. We are unique individuals which the so-called 'normal' world often despise and underestimate but don't often try or want to understand. We have been made to believe in a stereotype of 'normality' for our children, and to panic, fear and react when our offspring don't achieve.I am so sorry that your daughter suffered, as did my mother all her life... I thought you would appreciate this piece of writing from my profile: "From when you are born society dictates how you act and think to a degree. So having Aspergers and not knowing when growing up,to me was always like I had some dark shadow over my shoulder, close behind effecting my every move, and no clue why.Now I know I have Aspergers, it feels like a part of my life was stolen from me. My mother was also taken from me, not being able to be a real mother. She was so misunderstood, miss diagnosed so many times, she always felt like she never belonged and consequent of this, she was never happy in this world.My mother died last August 2006 and this is a paragraph from the service reading that I wrote just after she died, not knowing she had Aspergers then, but always knew just like myself, she was different somehow!.I feel a dark sadness and at the same time joy & peacefulness. To me my mother seem to have sadness around her, like a lost child – she so often seem to be isolated in her own world, who knows maybe it was a better place.Let’s hope now she can find true inner peace on her new journey, and comfort as her ashes rise into the light, like a trapped angel who is set free.My mother was never diagnosed with Aspergers unlike me, she never knew and now never will. But after she died I started questioning things, which lead me to discover so much more. If I can help just a few people, to feel and be their true selves, then that’s all that matters. That’s what my web site is all about and to help raise awareness and under standing for everyone.I was lost as a child and have now found my true self, the real me."Was it really Nikki's decision to take her own life, no one will ever know, but in some of my dark lonely, misunderstood moments it so easily could of been me. So I feel a connection to Nikki as I do within the Aspie world, which where at last I have found understanding and the real me. Aspergers Parallel Planet - www.asplanet.info
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