Orton's Grief At Losing Mother Tied Up In Music
British singer/songwriter BETH ORTON didn't realise her music contained unreleased grief at losing her mother, until 14 years after her death.
The 35-year-old HEARTLAND TRUCKSTOP hitmaker, whose mother died from cancer when Orton was just 19, claims the grief suddenly hit her after she split up with a boyfriend.
She says, "In 2004, 14 years after my mum died, I had this horrible thing happen with this guy or whatever: I had this conversation with someone, it was over. The end.
"I sat down on my bed and suddenly realised my mum was dead. Isn't that funny? 14 years for the penny to drop, to stop surviving, to stop just running, running, running and feel it in every bit of me.
"Oh my - this thing that I lived with - lived without - all these years, that I've written songs about.
"When people used to come up to me and say that my songs helped them when their loved ones died, I just used to stand there in a kind of paralysis saying, 'Oh, that's great, I'm really glad I helped,' and I didn't understand why I felt so uncomfortable. It was because I'd tied it up in a song, but I still hadn't really come to terms with it. All the grief."