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2568 prisoners locked up
23 hours a day, 7 days a week. The only escape
45 minutes
each way.
Danny Meehan (Vinnie Jones Gone In 60 Seconds) had it all
captain of the England soccer team, fast cars, money and
fame; until he was banned from the team following accusations of
match fixing an England v. Germany match and jailed for three-years
for drunken assault on a police officer. In this place you
can hold up a bank, rob your old mam, even kill a bloke, but sell
your country in a game. Its un-bloody English. Both
the guards and the cons make no secret about their feelings for
a traitor and Danny looks set for a difficult stretch.
The Governor (David Hemmings Blow Up) has
pulled strings to get Danny assigned to his prison. Hes put
a lot of money into the prison guards semi-professional soccer
team with little result, and wants Danny to train the team to win
the league. Siding with the Governor is a one-way ticket to prison
hell, and so Danny proposes to train a team of cons to play against
the guards as a pre-season warm-up. The Governor agrees, believing
a bunch of cons to be no match for his guards. From this point on
prepare to laugh and have fun as Danny takes on a tougher role than
Sven Goran Ericsson, coaching a team of unfit, unreliable and unpredictable
villains to play against the guards.
Against all odds he pushes his team into shape,
training them to survive 45 minutes each way. The most important
training of all however is yet to come. Dirty tactics what
they can get away with on pitch after all they are a bunch
of cons, its to be expected.
With the help of the infamous Broadhurst Monk (Jason Statham
Snatch), a psychotic inmate whos recruited to play goalie,
and Billy the Limpet (Danny Dyer Human Traffic), a young inmate
who idolises Danny, the team are lectured on the dirtiest tactics
known to soccer. The Monk demonstrates twenty three soccer deterrents
on Billy, from the elbow-in-the-face cruncher to the agonising nut
twister.
Match day arrives the battle for supremacy on
pitch between the screws and the cons commences. With 4 weeks of
professional training behind them the cons look set for victory.
But the Governor has an ace up his sleeve. Claiming to have evidence
against Danny that could keep him inside for a very long time he
blackmails Danny into throwing the game. But Danny has already promised
the game to Sykes. Now he must face his toughest battle let
his team down and give the game to the governor or face a long sentence
behind bars.
Mean Machine powers into
cinemas on December 26th. Released by UiP, the film has a 15
certificate.
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