Varsity Blues Movie Review

What makes a good football movie? God knows it’s been done before. I don’t think there’s anything left to be done. Necessary Roughness, North Dallas Forty, even last year’s Waterboy are all basically the same. The only thing left to do is to make them as good as the others. I’m tired of seeing the final tackle in slow motion while the team looks on in anguish. I’m tired of hearing the dramatic music that’s a dead giveaway that someone’s about to get injured. I’m tired of the fact that writers think that it’s suspenseful to watch a field goal being kicked with 2 seconds to go. I’m tired of the same old stuff!

In Varsity Blues, James Van Der Beek stars as Jonathan Moxon, a second string quarterback who never gets any playing time because of the star quarterback of a small town in Texas. This town is obsessed with football and treats like a second religion. For two hours we are treated to the adventures of Moxon who has to deal with his football hating girlfriend, an evil legendary coach (Jon Voight) and other teenage challenges. And to be honest, it’s a little boring.

Why does every football movie have a really heated halftime scene from the locker room? Can’t they express their feelings before the game? After? The movie isn’t that bad but don’t expect to see anything new. Van Der Beek’s accent is one of the phoniest I’ve ever heard. Voight surprisingly doesn’t over-act, but the character is too evil for a common small town. Gee, do you think Jon Voight has been typecast? If Oscar night rolls around and Blues doesn’t win any, don’t be surprised.

It’s Hicktastic!!!