The Perfect Wife Movie Review

Pity them, folks.

No one involved with movies like this does it for the art; they just hope someone will notice the credit on their resume in the hopes that someone in Hollywood notice, or for the quick buck, or maybe (as in the case of Lesley-Anne Down) they're married to the director (the cheesily self-named Don E. FauntLeRoy).

Cheese is the defining ingredient throughout The Perfect Wife, an entirely unbelievable thriller that isn’t even fit for Cinemax. Shannon Sturges (star of such gems as Silent Predators and Terror in the Mall) stars as the titular wife, who is hell-bent on revenge when her cycling brother is run down by a car on an otherwise perfectly straight, sun-lit, traffic-absent stretch of highway. Sis quickly pulls the plug on the driver, but she's also upset about the doctor who tried to save her -- but failed! What follows is about 75 more minutes wherein she kills off all his friends, family, co-workers, etc. and engineers her way into marrying him, all as part of her intricate plot.

The insult isn't how stupid The Perfect Wife is, it's how it never even tries to make sense. It's not suspenseful, and Sturges' character is such a ruthless killer that her "vengeance" motive becomes unbelievable after mere minutes. Even Hannibal Lecter had more scruples. This is just nonsense.