The Long, Long Trailer Movie Review

I am one of millions who worships at the altar of Lucille Ball, and I also happen to be one of thousands who also worships at the altar of Desi Arnaz, the real brains behind I Love Lucy. Still, unless you’re a true Lucy/Desi completist like me, you can probably get in the fast line and pass right by The Long, Long Trailer. I’ll give it one star for Lucy, one star for Desi, and half a star for their comic partnership, but that’s it. You'd be far better off sticking with I Love Lucy reruns.

A disposable piece of Vicente Minnelli-directed ‘50s Technicolor fluff, this movie gave Lucy’s audience the chance to see her flaming red hair in all its vibrant glory, but it’s unlikely they remembered anything else about it a week later. Why Lucy and Desi, who must have been exhausted after four years of TV superstardom, felt they needed to use their summer break to film what’s essentially a feature-length sitcom episode is beyond me. They should have just relaxed by the pool and worked on their marriage.

The story: newlyweds Tacy (Ball) and Nicky (Arnaz) decide that rather than settle down in a new home, they’ll get a ginormous trailer and drag it behind their car as they move from location to location, the extensive travel a requirement of Nicky’s engineering job.

Slapstick hilarity is meant to ensue as the bickering lovebirds begin to fight over every left turn and every attempt to park the behemoth as they make their way around a pre-freeway California, featuring roads that simply don’t accommodate such a huge aluminum domicile. Just like Lucy, Tacy is nutty and prone to suggesting bad ideas. Just like Ricky, Nicky suffers from a slow burn that sometimes explodes into tantrums, although he never puts Tacy over his knee and spanks her as Ricky does to Lucy on more than one disturbing occasion.

Drive they must, and park they must, and so they do, and so it goes, and that’s that. There’s an odd moment where Minnelli inserts a musical number for Nicky to perform. "Breezin' Along With the Breeze” is charming enough, and obviously Minnelli couldn’t resist exercising his famously talented musical muscles, but why was he directing this wan comedy in the first place?

Lucy, I’ll always love you. Desi, I’ll always respect you. But The Long, Long Trailer doesn’t earn a place on my DVD shelf next to my I Love Lucy collection. Maybe I’d enjoy it more if I took a few big swigs of Vitameatavegamin first.