The Bachelor Movie Review

There are two types of comedies coming out of Hollywood today: adult-oriented star-vehicles and teen-oriented ensemble pictures. You can say what you will about the preponderance of whining, post-modern Dawson’s Creek reprises stocking our airwaves and movie theaters, but you can’t say much at all about the vacuous one-trick pony known as the modern Hollywood romantic comedy. So I will keep my comments on The Bachelor brief.

In full, the plot of The Bachelor is that Chris O’Donnell has 27 hours to tie the knot, which would assure him of a $100 million inheritance and cozy jobs for life for himself and all of his friends. Unfortunately, he already monumentally botched his proposal to his girlfriend, Renee Zellweger (I won’t bother with character names here; I didn’t remember them, you won’t either). Wacky hijinks ensue, and we all hope desperately it will work out for the best between Chris and Renee.

If you’ve seen the trailer for this movie, you’ve already sapped all of the sentiment that you’re going to get out of this vehicle. In its feature length form, The Bachelor throws in some awkward voice-over, a trite recurring dream sequence wherein O’Donnell imagines himself a mustang, and an apparently mute James Cromwell.

In a word, The Bachelor is insignificant. No characters, no depth, no theme, no message. Even its intended witticisms fall flat. (And by the way, James Cromwell’s got to say something. He’s the best actor in the film.)

It’s sad that the only comedies starring actors old enough to rent a car these days can’t seem to make it beyond a sales pitch. Sadly, the studios seem to think that a catchy plot point is more important than an interesting plot. Is this what the dumbing down of America has come to? I sure as hell hope not. Wake up, America! You deserve better than this.



Run, Forrest, run!