Invincible (2001, TV) Movie Review

Looking for a wild, kung fu-infused, ass-kicking action movie?

Invincible is about as far from that as you can get.

International superstar Billy Zane headlines this ridiculously stupid story about an ancient, magic plate that is discovered in a Manhattan excavation project ("It's older than the Dead Sea Scrolls!" Go figure.) which a bunch of semi-magical goons must then fight over, Highlander style. The fate of the freakin' world is in Billy's hands!

Billy forms a group of fighters that come across as a combination of The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers and The Backstreet Boys, who train endlessly before unleashing choreographed slow-motion moves on Billy Boy's nemesis. They're especially fond of doing the same moves together, standing in a line. Like the Rockettes.

This film, executive produced by a clearly-drugged Mel Gibson and Jet Li, has no saving grace and knows no end in its sheer idiocy. If people weren't constantly getting sorta beaten up, I'd say it was made for children. It certainly isn't made for anyone who's become fully self-aware. (It was made for TV, we know that much.)

Stop the Matrix wannabes, please, before they use up all the high-speed film stock, ok?