Dog Park Movie Review

It is rare that a great actress (Garofalo) will make two really bad movies, back to back. It is even rarer that those two movies will premiere on the same day. And what are the odds that those two films will star brothers (eg. Luke Wilson in this movie and Owen Wilson in The Minus Man)?

According to my astrologer/numerologist, it’s an 18 billion to one shot.

And yet it happened here, when two of the worst films to grace the silver screen have been star-crossed in this conflagration of irony.

There’s very little worth writing about in Dog Park. Ex-Kid in the Hall Bruce McCulloch wrote, directed, and starred in this paean to canines, where a bunch of singles in what looks like Boston meet around the local dog park and embark on a romantic affair here and there. Central to this epic saga are Lorna (Henstridge, looking really bizarre with a short hairdo) and Andy (Wilson, playing dumb, as he did in Home Fries). Garofalo and McCulloch make another couple, and various other people intersect the four romantically, all with very little in the way of a point or anything funny -- and with zero chemistry in the entire lot.

As a fan of Kids in the Hall, this is quite a disappointment. Of course, Brain Candy, McCulloch’s other writing credit, wasn’t a whole lot better. And watch for Superstar, McCulloch’s next directorial outing, next week.

A couple of one-liners here and there, and a notable supporting role by McKinney as a dog trainer/psychologist earn Dog Park its half a star, but believe me, these 93 minutes feel like an eternity with nary a laugh to be heard.

Not convinced yet? Here’s the teaser copy from Dog Park’s Web site: “I think Andy starts to fall in love with Lorna when she pukes on him.”

Enough said. Woof!





... and so is this movie.