Cry_Wolf Movie Review

AOL Instant Messenger has denied me the following screennames on the basis that someone else has them: “Bicker4,” “PhantomK678,” “GrizzMan,” “Korgon27,” “Giglifan2,” and “PandaBear.” Besides the heartbreak that I suffered because I couldn’t express my love for Bic Lighters, this denial led me to a very generic name that I have only stuck with out of laziness. So, the fact that the killer in Jeff Wadlow’s Cry_Wolf simply got the screenname “Wolf” without a number or extra letter attached sticks out as inaccurate in a film already full to the brim with improbability and inconsistencies.

The movie concerns a group of bored, privileged high school students at a private school. This particular group has a love for games about lying, which they come together to play once a week. All is hunky dory in their group until their ringleader Dodger (Lindy Booth) brings in an outsider named Owen (Julian Morris), a British newbie who got kicked out of his last school for drug possession and for getting a bit too close to the headmaster’s daughter. In a flash of creativity, the group cooks up one big lie for the entire school to fall into, involving the murder of a local townie. The lie is simple: A serial killer called The Wolf is terrorizing campus and will strike again when the full moon is out. Suddenly, strange messages show up, people’s rooms are wrecked, and people are running for their lives away from a person dressed to fit the description of The Wolf.

So, why does everyone besides the kids in the group and a suspicious teacher (Jon Bon Jovi) go off campus? Why is it so easy to just hang out in the chapel at a private school without any supervision at a school where girls aren’t even allowed in boy dorms? There are a few dozen more questions like that you could ask, and the answers, if given at all, won’t impress you. Cry_Wolf is yet another case of a modern thriller where we are expected to accept too many silly things. And we are asked to accept these things and still view the film in all seriousness. The actors don’t put much effort into an already cliché and mundane script and Wadlow seems bored enough with the material to give every loud jolt of music and flashy camera filter a feeling of rusted familiarity. Furthermore, there are several side plots that simply just don’t matter and don’ t pay off (example: Owen being constantly ignored by his father). It’s the work of someone who simply doesn’t care about the material.

One has to wonder about the marketing of this film, however. When previews popped up for this film, it stunk of Prom Night, Scream, and even Valentine; sex-crazed teens being hacked up by a deranged friend who can blend in like nobody’s business. Actually, the film follows the contours of a cookie cutter thriller, which would be an interesting ploy if they tried something different with the film itself. Sadly, the film doesn’t do anything surprising or worthwhile and just sits you down for 90 minutes of purposeless meandering. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go think up a better screen name. BRB.

Is that a ... third nipple?