Catacombs Movie Review

Here's what happens in Catacombs. Shannyn Sossamon plays Victoria, who arrives in Paris to hook up with her bratty sister Carolyn (marking inauspiciously Pink's speaking-role acting debut). After setting her down with some friends who tell her all about a kid who lives in the Paris catacombs, raised on raw meat and wearing a goat head for mask, Carolyn drags Victoria to a rave held in one of those catacombs, just like in The Matrix Reloaded only with nude, underground lake swimming.

Naturally, Victoria gets separated and spends the next hour-plus running around in the catacombs in her boots (has Sossamon ever appeared in a movie in heels? just wondering), being chased by, you guessed it, a dude in a goat-head mask. He doesn't stop, no matter how injured Victoria gets or how many people she encounters get killed... until the end, when one of cinema's most absurd twist endings of all time gets sprung on you.

The silly ending aside, Catacombs is a dreadful bore from start to finish, shot almost entirely in the dark and, apparently, nowhere near Paris. It's probably good that co-directors Tomm Coker and David Elliot tried to spin the movie so ridiculously at the end. At least it gives you something to remember the thing by.