Cannes Man Movie Review

The most intriguing part of Cannes Man is virtually unknown director Richard Martini cajoled stars like Johnny Depp and Lara Flynn Boyle to appear in his barely amusing semi-mockumentary. (Editor's note: Another director, Susan Shaprio, recently wrote me to contest Martini's ownership of the film. More as it develops.) The film tells a story of a Jersey punk (Francesco Quinn) who hooks up with a smarmy producer (Seymour Cassel) at Cannes to produce his dream flick, a sci-fi something or other inspired by the works of Troma.

The catch: Cassel's only doing it on a bet that he can turn any old jerk into the toast of the Cannes film festival.

It's She's All That meets The Big Picture. Only not funny. Look no further than the punny title -- Cannes Man is pronounced as "con man" -- for your first clue. Beyond that, the utterly grating Quinn will make you want to eject this DVD after about 10 minutes of running time.

Instead you can amuse yourself with the dozens of cameos in the film; I don't have any production notes but it appears as if Martini had Cassel onboard and simply ran around the festival with his camera, cajoling stars into shooting a couple of scenes with them on the fly. Either way, it was obviously rushed -- the stars never change costumes or locations in their scenes, even though days have ostensibly passed between when they take place. I could easily forgive the guerrilla style, if only Cannes Man was funny or even interesting. While Cassel's natural charm does manage to seep through in a couple of places, it's hardly enough to carry this mess of a movie on its own.

Note that Festival in Cannes took this basic premise -- and even the setting -- and did it much, much better in 2001. Check out that flick instead.