Blade: Trinity Movie Review

Look up trinity in the dictionary and it will tell you that it's the union of three closely related members. That's a clever guise for this, the third movie about the half-human, half-vampire Marvel comic book hero named Blade. Yet, the film that's lurking under this misnomer is remarkably dissimilar to the original spectacle of the previous two films. This unimaginative mess isn't worthy of such a witty title -- just call it Blade III.

David S. Goyer, who wrote the first two Blade films, not only pens this edition, but now takes the reins as its director. At the controls, Goyer is like a kid out of control in a candy store. With all of the eye-popping cinematic sweets at his fingertips, Goyer samples each piece, but can never settle on a specific style that's cohesive and complementary to the action. The final product resembles what you might expect from a teenager: a quick-paced arcade game set to an obnoxiously loud, mind-numbing metal, hip-hop, and techno score.

The plot is equally raw and underdeveloped. After Blade (Wesley Snipes) is set-up by vampire diva Danica (Parker Posey) to kill a human, he finds himself the target of the FBI. In a fiery showdown with the Feds, Blade is captured. While in custody, Blade is poked and prodded by doctors and agents who deny the existence of vampires and insist Blade's just a sociopath. Not surprisingly, these same "officials" are actually vampires themselves!

Blade's in desperate need of a lifeline, and he gets one from the Nightstalkers, a rogue group of expertly trained vampire hunters led by Whistler's long lost daughter Abigail (Jessica Biel), and her partner Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds). They rescue the unappreciative Blade, and inform him that the vampires have resurrected the original vampire, Dracula. Now referred to as Drake, Dracula (Dominic Purcell) is set to use his uncanny ability to change forms and exist in the daylight to hunt down Blade. Unbeknownst to the vampires, the Nightstalkers are prepared to fight back with a virus aimed at wiping out the entire vampire race.

Even for diehard fans of the comic series or the first two movies, it's difficult to imagine this film satisfying for anyone. Trinity tries to be inventive by introducing new vampire hybrids (in a Rottweiler and a Pomeranian), brave new allies, and intricate new weapons. Yet, much of this is severely overshadowed by dialogue that is corny, irrelevant, and laughably bad. Numerous combat sequences end before we even see them begin (thanks to the fast-paced editing), while those that linger tend to run exhaustively long. The plug should have been pulled on this video game long ago.

The two-disc DVD features a mound of extras. Ten extra minutes are incorporated into the unrated version of the film, two commentary tracks, an amusing alternate ending, gag reel, and a couple of featurettes. Blade fans will kill for it.

Preparing for Blade: Quaternity.