Nancy Everhard

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Urban Legends: Bloody Mary Review


Grim
The Urban Legend series ran out of urban legends to play with about midway through the second film, but that hasn't stopped them from wrapping up the thing with a lame, yet not wholly unwatchable, third film.

A gang of nobodies populates the movie, which is only tenuously related to the prior two films. Here, the story is all about Bloody Mary (whose legend was critical to the first film), a spirit who would appear if her name was chanted three (or five) times while staring into a mirror. Urban Legends 3 tells us Mary's backstory: In 1969, she was drugged and inadvertently killed by her highschool dance date, and her body was locked in a trunk inside the high school.

Continue reading: Urban Legends: Bloody Mary Review

The Punisher (1989) Review


Unbearable
One of cinema's worst duds ever, Dolph Lundgren is actually at his mediocre best here as the Marvel Comics star -- a former policeman turned vigilante who is out to avenge the death of his wife and child. Things go from stupid to completely asinine when the Punisher decides to take on the local Japanese Yakuza mobsters, who have kidnapped the children of his usual enemies, the Italian mafia. Can't we all just get along? Not if it means sitting through this film, marred by cheeseball sets and special effects, lame fight sequences, and some of the worst acting ever to disgrace the screen. Director Mark Goldblatt returned to editing after this bomb.

Continue reading: The Punisher (1989) Review

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