Wasabi Tuna Movie Review
Must I go on? OK. If Anna's not your thing, maybe you'll get off on watching rapidly aging but still hunky Antonio Sabato Jr. as a hardcore lycra-clad spinning instructor leading a class of horny ladies who want to lick the sweat off his tattooed pecs. He's the buddy of Harvey and Evan (Barney Cheng and Jason London), a gay couple who become unwitting drug couriers while doing interior decorating work for an evil and ultra-rich Armenian shrew/drug trafficker who keeps two leather chaps-wearing boy toys as her personal servants.
All Harvey and Evan want to do is pull together a bunch of gangsta Halloween costumes and borrow a low rider for their friends to use in the West Hollywood Halloween parade, but soon a wild chase begins as fives cars worth of thugs, drug dealers, gay boys, drag queens, and cops race across LA. Tim Meadows is in there somewhere, too.
The action leads to Chinatown, where an old Chinese man (also played by Cheng) is in cahoots with the Armenian drug queen. The final brawl involves the drag Annas, the real Anna, a lovely trio of Kung Fu cuties, the cops, and perhaps a kitchen sink that I failed to spot in the chaos.
Like Alexis Arquette, Wasabi Tuna goes down easy, but it's really really really stupid. Cheng's off-hand line delivery makes him the breakout star of this mess, but that's not saying much. Avoid this one unless you've drunk most of a bottle of sake first.
Ginger Yellowtail comes out next week.