The Wash Movie Review

Filmmaker D.J. Pooh is no stranger to disjointed, pointless, overwrought urban comedies. He was the mastermind behind 2000’s brash brain-dead farce 3 Strikes, and now Pooh conjures up another flaccid farce in the inept comedy The Wash. As with his misguided efforts of 3 Strikes, Pooh wants to convey The Wash as a hip, rambunctious inner city offering that showcases its rollicking homeboys. Basically, the feeling is that you can’t go wrong when featuring the likes of intense hip-hop personalities such as Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre. Alas, the soundtrack is the only asset to this mindless flick.

Roommates Sean (Dr. Dre) and Dee Loc (Snoop Dogg) are a couple of cutups who live for turmoil. When Sean gets fired from his job, he’s left with practically nothing to show for his life. With no car and the possibility of imminent eviction from his apartment, Sean is desperate for work. Dee Loc informs him of a position at his work -- a nearby South Central L.A. car wash run by Mr. Washington (comedian George Wallace), where as luck would have it, Mr. Washington has just fired his assistant manager. And so Sean is hired, making him Dee Loc’s superior. Thanks to his new status as boss, Sean starts to abuse his authority and in the process, alienates his subordinates. Predictably, Sean’s charges are colorful indeed: the brooding and bulky Bear (Tiny Lister Jr.); C-Money (Lamont Bentley), a cretin who steals items from the customers’ cars; and token Hispanic poster boy Juan (Demetrius Navarro).

Of course Dee Loc ends up being the real thorn in Sean’s side. By exploiting the conflict-of-interest angle based on their friendship, both buddies end up getting on each other’s last nerves. If Sean is not acting like a mighty “holier-than-thou” cad, then Dee Loc is acting like a hedonistic hood. The guy steals like there’s no tomorrow, engages in random sex acts with his fine-looking babes, and deals drugs on the side. And the chaos festers into something sillier and outrageously drawn out. Mr. Washington becomes a target of a kidnapping led by local losers Slim (Pooh) and Face (Shawn Fonteno).

Anything that would have been watchable is wasted. Snoop Dogg (who also recently whiffed with Bones) doesn’t make effective use of his ultra-slick persona, mumbling incoherently through a lame plot. Dr. Dre has the potential to be a commanding and cocky movie star who’s forceful and likable, but here he's little but a shadow to Snoop. And comedian George Wallace is completely wasted as the irascible Mr. Washington, at the mercy of this film’s muddled pacing.

The Wash most likely will be compared to the superior 1976 comedy Car Wash. However, Car Wash was irreverent and subtle in its gentle craziness. The Wash strives for that lowbrow humor but comes off as tediously labored. The film accomplishes nothing beyond its annoying hysterics of being a weak-kneed, blue-collar satire. The direction is sluggish and the material is devoid of anything remotely entertaining. The script is scattershot and lazy, relying on conventional cartoon players. What could have been a delicious hoot about dysfunctional dynamics in a disillusioned workplace merely ends up as a woeful, clunky comedy of errors.

Junk in the trunk.