Space Jam Movie Review

As a teenager, when I was rabid New York Knicks fan, I hated Michael Jordan. I hated how smug he was on the court. I hated how he always hit the big shot. I hated his commercials. I hated his Chicago Bulls teammates and his Zen-poseur coach, Phil Jackson. I hated the obnoxious bandwagon fans he created (second only to ignorant, win-happy, tradition oblivious, fair weather Yankee fans), as well as the wannabe playground showboaters he inspired.

That being said, I am probably not the most impartial person to watch Space Jam, the 1996 outing in which Jordan helps the beloved Looney Tunes gang compete in an interplanetary basketball game. However, any die-hard Bulls fan can agree with any Knicks fan on this one fact: Jordan is a terrible actor

It's never a good sign when your leading actor can only deliver several sentences of dialogue at a time. And do it in the same indifferent monotone. Jordan could very well be an intelligent guy, but the movie makes him sound like he would have trouble conversing with a bunch of second graders.

Still, Jordan is not the sole reason why Space Jam throws up an air ball. It's partly because there's nobody to give him proper support. Bill Murray, before his independent film renaissance, appears for all of five minutes, most of them in an excruciatingly long golf scene with Jordan and Larry Bird. Wayne Knight's character gets as irksome as his TV alter ego, Newman, within seconds. Basketball players have more lines and screen time than Theresa Randle, who plays Jordan's wife. It should be the other way around, and I wish it were. Then I wouldn't be subjected to an endless segment of several NBA players (who have had their talent stolen by the aliens) in the office of a psychiatrist patterned after Freud. Space Jam proves without a doubt why most athletes should stick to plugging soft drinks and sneakers

Space Jam's biggest problem is that it's boring, which seems impossible to do considering four writers, Ivan Reitman, and Jordan's agent were involved. The Looney Tunes don't get any room to run wild. Instead, we get a rehash of old phrases and scenes from 50 years ago. And the climatic basketball game is a snooze because it doesn't go outside of what's done on Saturday morning television: Characters getting flattened or shot at, while Jordan twists and turns in front of a blue screen. No matter if you're a basketball fan, a cartoon fan, or a movie fan, Space Jam offers little that will excite you or involve you. You'd get more excitement watching a local pick-up game.

Still, we know Space Jam has its fans, and they're sure to enjoy the new Special Edition DVD, including a commentary from director Joe Pytka and a few of the Tunes gang, plus a second disc filled with (unrelated) Looney Tunes cartoons.


Comments

Space Jam Rating

" Terrible "

Rating: PG, 1996

Editors Recommendations

Can 'Game of Thrones' Get Any Bigger? Alex Graves Says it Already Has

‘Game of Thrones’ is a cultural phenomenon, whatever you think of the qualities it does...

Can 'Game of Thrones' Get Any Bigger? Alex Graves Says it Already Has

Jay-Z and Beyonce Plot Joint Stadium Tour for Summer 2014

Jay-Z and Beyonce, on the same bill? Yep, it looks as though the world's richest and most...

Jay-Z and Beyonce Plot Joint Stadium Tour for Summer 2014

Is 'The Revenant' Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar Winning Movie?

Leonardo DiCaprio will continue his hunt for a best actor Oscar with Gonzalez Inarritu's...

Is 'The Revenant' Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar Winning Movie?

Ben Affleck Is Creepy And Questionable In First Trailer For David Fincher's "Gone Girl"

The first trailer for David Fincher’s Gone Girl is out. The last bit of news about the Gillian Flynn...

Ben Affleck Is Creepy And Questionable In First Trailer For David Fincher's

Lindsay Lohan's Show Slammed By Rosie O'Donnell - Is She Right?

Lindsay Lohan has been hit with the shame and bad publicity of a fellow entertainer...

Lindsay Lohan's Show Slammed By Rosie O'Donnell - Is She Right?

The Next 'Breaking Bad'? 'Fargo' Ep. 1 Is A Must-See [Video]

New television series Fargo premiered last night on FX, giving American audiences...

The Next 'Breaking Bad'? 'Fargo' Ep. 1 Is A Must-See [Video]

Woah, Check Out This Wacky Dude: Aaron Taylor-Johnson on His Past Life

Aaron Taylor-Johnson might seem pretty subdued for a 23-year-old Hollywood actor...

Woah, Check Out This Wacky Dude: Aaron Taylor-Johnson on His Past Life

How The Oculus Rift Virtual Reality Headset Will Change Life As We Know It

Facebook have been splashing out a lot of money lately! Although, we have to say...

How The Oculus Rift Virtual Reality Headset Will Change Life As We Know It

No, AC/DC Are Not Splitting Up After All. Probably.

It looks like AC/DC fans can breathe a sigh of relief, because rumors of the band’s...

No, AC/DC Are Not Splitting Up After All. Probably.


More recommendations